These Boys: Lightning In A Bottle

Trying to remember every little thing about this point in time is like trying to catch lightning in a bottle. The boys are growing so fast! I'm in amazement at who they are. I'm also not a dumb mom and know they are pretty crazy, too!

 They say little boys love their moms, and that's way too true here. Walker will bring me flowers (weeds) on walks and always tells me I'm his best friend. I know he's lying, but I'll take it for now. He's rough and tumble at times, then all kisses at other times. He says things that just blow your mind. Sometimes things he remembers are insane. Other times he just says things that are almost genius. It's interesting to see life through a toddler's eyes. They are just so pure and say what's out there. He thinks it's funny to gang up on me with Daddy and say funny things. I guess this means he'll be sarcastic which I couldn't live without! He sure isn't boring. Sometimes he doesn't listen well because he's Nick's as I listen soooo well... He's into clean up mode lately which means taking his brother's toys away as he plays. Not cool. He loves on Carter like no other, then gets tired of him touching all of his stuff at other times. I can't wait until Carter can whack him. I like that Walker is getting to know Jesus and talks about him now. It's very cool to watch. You raise these kids in hopes you're doing it right, but they are who they are. We just take each day at a time and watch him grow. Walker is a good kid, he hates to get in trouble and loves deeply. I pray he keeps this attitude forever, even the stubborn attitude because I love he's his own person. And he better always love Mommy.

Carter is 8 months old. Oh man, he's fast. He's already crawling. He wants to stand and hates to sit down. He loves to eat like a piggy. He has a distinct cry/whine when he wants what you're eating. He hates sleep and I'm the worst sleep trainer ever born. It's my fault, but oh well. He loves to cuddle and loves to watch the people around him. He is so chill unless he is sleepy or hungry. He's usually laughing and talking to people. He just needs to slow it up and stop going so fast! Carter thinks his brother hung the moon. Walker likes to bug him, but he thinks it's hilarious. Babies are tough work, but he's a pretty cool kid so I'm all for it.

 

Being a parent is the toughest job in the world. We can only do our best. We love our kids as much as possible, and know that's the start of it. Sometimes they may eat dirt, other times they may be sheltered from the world. We're somewhere in between on a daily basis. The world is a crazy place so we're happy to have our little place of solace in the midst of the chaos. It may be our own version of chaos, but it's perfect.

No Sick Days Allowed

I was always the one that would force myself to go to work sick. I didn't want the boss to think I was lying so I would force myself with no voice or sick to my stomach to make it to the office. Now that I'm a mom I would love to call in sick. We don't get that luxury. Sure, we can call in reinforcements if they're around, but most often, we get to be a parent and just be sick at the same time. Let's rewind.

I'm not even going to rehash the few weeks in December when I single handledly pretty much got my whole family plus my parents sick with whatever lung crud there was out there... That was just a crazy time filled with lots of snot. So last week I didn't feel great all day. Not bad enough to do anything about it until later in the day... but not great. Walker and Carter both jumped all over me playing and it hurt, but I thought I was being a baby. I somehow managed to cook and then curled up in a ball. Nick bathed both boys and put Walker to bed... and I got into our bed and turned on the TV. We watched some TV and boom, it hit me. I went to throw up seven times in a row.

So I thought we were out of the woods. I made it through the next day, weak, but alive. We had dinner with friends then came home Friday night. All was great... until Walker shows up at the top of the stairs. He doesn't understand and says there is water all over his room... yep, he threw up pizza and goldfish alllll over his bed. He comes to my bed and I send Nick upstairs away from the plague. I also gave him bottles for Carter so he could wake up with him all night since I knew it might be crazy with Walker. Oh yeah, my five month old doesn't know how to sleep more than three hours straight... soooo Walker throws up by me again and again - each time I'm changing out the sheets. I don't want to get mad at him, but I don't understand why he cannot make it to the bucket! So at 3:45 AM he throws up all over my hair. I bring the iPad into the bathroom, put him on the floor watching it and I shower. I had to say a few prayers because I was losing my cool. Poor kid couldn't help it and he kept apologizing. I felt so bad... and I was so sleepy. Finally we slept until 8...

Nick woke up sick... guess sleeping upstairs didn't stop the germs from finding him...

I knew I had to guide the ship alone. This means a million loads of laundry, disinfecting everything and the usual chores on top of it on a Saturday! I think there were seven loads of laundry? There were so many towels and sheets I lost count. Walker was very whiny and just chilled out... I can say the same for Nick, but he does really try when he's sick to be cool... he finally resorted to the couch later in the day because he gave up. I don't think I sat down much at all. The dog still needed to be walked, Carter needed attention and Walker just wanted to be loved on so that stuff couldn't be put aside.

In life, parents are superheroes. It'd be great if we could just bow out and say we weren't going to parent today. Nope, don't feel it. Nick's parents had just gone out of town and I was wishing we could call them up for help... but, how do you do that when you are contagious? You just can't even if they are in town. No matter how bad we feel, we're going to reach out and hold our kids and make them lunch and let them dance for us. I'm not even going to touch a whole other thing to praise the single parents. My gosh, I was just so happy that Nick and I could switch off napping. It seemed simple, but I was worn out from still being weak from being sick and staying up till 4 AM taking care of Walker so that nap was everything.

Age doesn't stop this either. First thing, I heard Nick talking to his parents on the phone about the crazy night. I called Dad pretty early to tell them about it, too. Oh, we know we have many nights like this in the future. We aren't naive, but we hadn't yet had a toddler and infant navigating that crazy ship just yet. So when we're sick as parents we just trudge through the day trying to make it. It might mean a lot more of this screen time society thinks is killing my child's brain, yet helping me live through a few hours when I can't breathe or it might mean a pretty boring day just playing with toys while Mom curls in a ball on the couch. It usually means a lot more snuggles whether we're sick or they're sick.

Sometimes I miss those days when I actually called in sick, curled up under my covers watching TV. I wasn't going to do anything all day, but recover. I wouldn't trade them for the insanity of my world today. I'll drag myself to the microwave with a fever to give my kid some nuggies when I can't stand long enough to cook. I'll sing in a horrible hoarse voice if he wants "Jesus Loves Me." And, most of all, when tables are turned, I'll dive into puke sheets gathering them up, go through heaps of gross Kleenex cleaning his nose and smile when he throws up in my hair.

This was the day I got sick. Walker decided he wanted to be a cowboy. He sure did make me laugh all day. He even tried to nap with that hat.

This kid makes me melt. He just fell asleep in a cloud of blankets. Carter is chill.

Calm in the storm. Carter was so cuddly and happy as his brother and dad felt so bad Saturday. 

Back to life. Walker was ready to rock and roll after feeling bad all day.

I just like this picture. It's Superbowl Day. Carter is 24 weeks. 

Be Better

Be Better.

I kept trying to think of the perfect New Years Resolution and they all kept running together. I saw someone on social media simply said, Be Better. Yep, that's it. Be better in all I do. Be a better mom, a better wife, a better everything. Work out better, eat better, blah blah blah... I failed in my attempt at being better with cooking when my cornbread casserole tasted like gritty dirt casserole... so I fail, I win, it all evens out.

I decided to jump back in my blog because I want to document life and randomly a few people asked me about it. I stopped for fear I would offend someone because we offend in everything we say and do nowadays. My child has a gender and I'm offending someone, my gosh. Oh well. I wanted to be raw instead of perfect. Sometimes I feel like the only mom that is failing until I tell someone and they say the same thing happened to them. Everyone paints this perfect picture. Even my social media seems my boys and family are just happy all of the time! Can I please show where I had to call Santa because my three year old kept jumping in the middle of my laundry after I told him to stop multiple times? Can I please show where I am totally spoiling my baby with sleeping and he may never go to his crib? I always fear saying anything raw because automatically I feel inferior. I feel like I won't be as good as those other women out there that have it all. I'm just me and that's how it just has to be. I've always worked too hard to seem perfect and I fall flat so just give in and be you. Well, that is easily said and not easily done, but it's a start to show yourself as raw in posts. This doesn't mean I stop spray tanning because my entire family hates the fakeness or stop painting my nails or obsessing over my boys' wardrobe. That's just me.

So I will try to write more so I can get things out on paper and try not to offend. I need to document these crazy little boys. They are so much fun and insane at the same time. Walker has the biggest personality and is also pretty darn smart. He's stubborn and feisty. He has the best imagination and can play alone, but loves to play with friends. No one is a stranger. Carter is chill at times, then very opinionated with how he likes to sit and sleep at other times. He talks a lot and smiles at people so I'm guessing he will be very social.

Okay, time to be better. I have articles to write for a wedding website I write for and I'm procrastinating so that is not being better! Off to it.

Let's see if these are raw or normal or just look normal ;)...

Plano Tree Lighting... it rained crazy on us, but we had just gotten under the smores tent! I wanted a perfectly posed picture, but it just wasn't happening. We all look jolly though.

 Before the tree lighting I forced them to pose. They didn't hate me for it.

 

Now this is real life. They didn't feel like posing in their matching clothes. I thought it was a perfect photo op, but nope. 

Every year we get a family picture at the Christmas Eve party. Well, this year Walker and I were deathly sick with a cold. We don't look that great or feel that great, but we still posed. It was a tough night as we hacked and just felt bad overall, but we still enjoyed ourselves as much as possible. 

Carter is wearing what Walker wore his first Christmas Eve. Love it. He did really well at church so that made me happy. 

 We tried to get a cool family photo at Gaylord ICE. These crazies wouldn't both look at the camera. 

Walker was so sick, but he sure could still cheese for the camera.

Usually I make Carter smile for his pictures, but this was just adorable. He likes his new Wonky Donkey.

Walker is so into being a construction man. Or a shovel worker, as he calls it. Batman shirt and PJs, what else can a little boy want?

I have to include the amazing grandparents on both sides. They love these kids. Papa Mark hanging out with Walker. They have a lot of fun together.

 

 NeNe reading a book to both crazies. Walker loved to snuggle with her this time. In the past he was too cool for her.  

 

Santa came to the Gray's Neighborhood Christmas Party. He was a big hit.