Taking Care Of The Boo Boos

Last week Carter fell chasing a rabbit and ripped open his knee. He pointed saying "boo boo" as he cried. I cuddled him and rocked in the chair. I thought to myself how lucky he was to have someone loving on him like that. I flashed back to my parents loving on me. I'm not the most affectionate, but they never gave up on me. My dad still wraps me in a bear hug and doesn't let me try to wrestle my way out! If only we could protect them forever.

Skinned Knees Hurt

Life is trying to get back to some sort of normalcy, but it isn't happening in a blink of an eye. In the middle of Corona, we're hit with police brutality of black people, then riots and protests. Everyone is supposed to stand up and fight for what we believe in. I don't voice my opinion on much because that's just who I am... and even that is wrong in society because apparently by doing this, I'm letting whatever movement go forward without me. I'm doing a Bible study about being "too nice," and yep, that's me. Nice is a bad word in a sense because by being too nice we're walked on, we don't stand up enough and it can even be manipulative. I think I'll just stay in my corner on a public forum. Of course, I think all lives matter. We've been fighting inequality since the biblical times. I read in my bible study book about a woman who is written about in history books that was mauled to death by animals where they would bring you out with a stadium watching your horrible death, this happened because she was a Christian. This means she was brave, not nice. Anyway... we just hang in there in the middle of a crazy world to raise these little boys. We just want things to return to some sense of normal so Nick and/or I can hopefully get back on the job train. Places are just now starting to hire... or they say July... I swear, God's in control, but it's so hard to see.

I thought of something I had to share and write about. Walker will be 5 next month. I was talking to him the other day apologizing about his year. In his 4th year he's had it tough... He lost both his cat and dog, his school year ended early and this kid loves his friends, his best friends in the neighborhood moved away, and he's for sure had to feel the stress we've felt as Nick lost his job. Kids are so resilient. He just makes it work. Sometimes I see him sad because he truly misses all his buddies, and is exuberant as they slowly come back around. I want to heal the boo boos in his heart. He still talks about God and Jesus even though he hasn't been able to go to actual church in a long time. I got on to myself for not reading little Bible stories to him more or educating him like I should about it all. I talk to him about the things going on in the world telling him to love everyone equally. He could care less what anyone looks like. As long as you play with him, he doesn't care. I'm just in awe of kids in general. We need to be like them. They're powerful and special.

Yep... that's it... The pools are still closed so we got ourselves a little inflatable one. It sure makes us miss our big nice pool in Las Vegas. We go to the lake a bit so that's fun, too. We have my dad's, Nick's dad's birthday and Father's Day this month so we're excited to share our gifts and love with them. I love sunshine. It keeps us going mentally and physically. Lord knows we need it right now.

Our best twin friends moved :(

Playing with the neighbors

Our BFF Colin came to visit

The New Normal

It's supposed to be the time of year when we pack our bags of snacks and suncreen heading out to the pool. All of the city pools and the HOA pools around us are closed. It's officially Summer around here. We can go to the lake, but you can't do that every day. Life is flipped in this weird way, and we're trying to figure it all out. Nick is still out of a job. We apply every day. He networks. Places are on hiring freezes. One makes more on unemployment than many jobs, yet that cannot last forever. I do my freelance writing and virtual assistant work. I could go back to work in an office or remotely as well. This Coronavirus and all of 2020 are like living in a strange dream.

This year is sort of like the end of a fireworks show. Hear me out. So God just started going "boom boom boom." Corona boom. Murder hornets boom boom boom. Senseless killings boom boom. Release the cicadas booooom boom. Riots and looting boom boom boom boom. I don't want to dive into anything deep regarding these riots and protests. In fact, it's overshadowing the Covid-19 news so now I sometimes forget about the pandemic. I'll simply say on a public forum my heart hurts. This isn't new in the world though. Equality has been thrown off for centuries. I want to raise my boys to love everyone. Walker knows there are different colors of hair and skin and eyes, but he doesn't care. Maybe we should all see through the eyes of children.

I don't know if the Coronavirus numbers are really changing or we're all just so tired of it that we've given up. I know Nick and I still wear our masks. We don't go to big stores. When we went to Orange Beach with the family it was like a breath of fresh air. We weren't immersed in the news the entire time. We still don't see a million people, but we are no longer afraid to see close friends. Maybe we're in the wrong. I honestly don't know anymore. I know Walker misses his school friends. I know Carter is missing out on a lot of social growth by not being able to attend the church nursery or take Walker to school drop off. Thank God for friends that play with him and treat him like a kid instead of a baby. And, I don't know how these numbers will grow or decrease to affect their joint birthday celebration in August or kindergarten or the 2's class. So we just sit back and wait. That's the worst. The not knowing the future. I'm a planner. In fact, we don't know which company will hire Nick. We don't know what date that is. We are in this floating realm. I don't like to float.

So we remain in church through Zoom Bible studies and online streams. We peck away at job applications. I write articles. The boys play with little friends. We search for a little pool we can place in the yard so they don't melt. We head to the lake with our floaties and sunblock. I don't know if the Rapture is coming or God wants us all to chill out instead of going full speed or what the heck He's doing up there. I'm just holding on for this ride.