Josh Howell

My friend from high school, Josh Howell passed away last night in a motorcycle accident... Josh, his friend and his girlfriend were all riding separately home from Midland. Shane and Hayley stopped for coffee and Josh sped ahead. When Hayley got home she realized he was not there. They went back down I-20 and found him in the ditch by the Stanton rest stop. Apparently he skidded and lost control. They had all driven by him without knowing. I do not know if he was wearing a helmet.

I was always in love with Josh throughout high school. He was really cute and sweet. Saddest thing is he has a one year old, Marin. He loved that little girl so much. He and my best friend, Chandra are close and last time I saw him was at her wedding. Big prayers.

Behind the Microphone Afterlife

Sometimes we figure out we aren't alone. Sometimes we figure out what we've been thinking for years is what someone else thinks right along with us.

I went to dinner with my friend, Linda Mares whom I reported with in Abilene. She left to move on and went to a few different places before being a reporter in Oklahoma City. At the table sat two other former reporters. Upon talking we realized we had all left the news business. I have talked before about us jumping ship... it all comes full circle back to my Dad asking me when I began that journey who at my station was age 35? Somewhere in the middle of it when you realize you don't want to climb the ladder to CNN because it is ridiculous... you jump off. I thought I was pretty alone in some of my thinkings about this journey... I was wrong.

Linda asked us if we ever watch the news. We all said NO together. Now, in Dallas I have four good friends on the news. I only know this because they tell me. I have seen them only once or twice on air. Why? Because as reporters we critique and we don't just watch for the news. We are watching for the story and seeing the mistakes. Now, the people that made it here to Dallas have that drive. But, what they don't have are families and I want that one day. They are darn good reporters and amazing people and they have worked very hard. Melissa did the ladder by leaving the state and finally finding her ground here. Jane had to go from Texas to Denver back to Texas. Desmond had to be let go by Tyler before they could see his potential in a huge market like Dallas. Kim kicked butt in every single small town to San Antonio to Dallas to make it up that ladder.

I realized in Tyler the next step had to be out of state because I wasn't ready for the big markets yet. We all have to climb that ladder. You think you go from Abilene to Dallas? Um no. It hit me that I was tired of running. I wanted to have holidays with my family and I wanted to be closer to my friends. I had no money saved and I was missing wedding after wedding and lifetime events... It was a losing battle. Working sixty hours a week... I wanted the life I knew as a child. Granted... this life is not as exciting and I'm not in the spotlight.

We all talked about what we missed. We all said the people and the stories and the camera. Of course. It gave me a sense of purpose that people actually cared about my story that day. I thought it was neat to sign an autograph... I mean, seriously? It was so much fun... but, it wasn't real. It was a little girl just chasing these dreams. We talked about getting out of the business and staring into the world and just not having any clue here in our late 20s what the heck we were doing with our lives. We are all scared to death. We are trained to report. Our hearts want us to report and our hearts want us to write, but unless your face is on a top ten market in the US then our heads cannot wrap around the math of it all. Unless we make it to the top of the ladder we are planted financially and socially in a sense.

It was like therapy to know I am not the only one. I miss it. Of course. I loved so much of that life. I also remember knowing maybe it was time to move on. I chose this. I was strong enough to move to Dallas not knowing my future and I chose it. I did it. I am proud of myself. We all are proud of our decisions and of the friends we have made and of our journey... but, it is all still very scary. You take a huge part of your heart and put it on the table. You stare at it waiting for it to beat because you have no idea how it will live now that you are changing its valves.

Red Raider Roadshow - Texas vs Texas Tech

We had a blast at the Texas Tech vs. Tech game!!! We did not win, but we had so much fun! Check out Nick making a cameo in this version with his football knowledge!!! This is the best one yet!!!

Magic Eight Ball of Ten Years

Casie, Me, Emily, Chandra & Landry at the pep rally

There was once this little group of teenagers sitting on a dock on their summer vacation. They were talking about the future and where they would be when they grew up... I remember writing five years after we graduated about what we had all become at that time. I was a news reporter. Lauren was in Marketing. Tracy was a teacher. Tara was an interior designer. Emily was an optometrist. I could go around the whole circle of each that sat in that conversation, but the point was we all grew up... Somehow. Maybe I still don't know what I want to exactly be when I grow up, but here I am... sort of... somehow... Some got married. Some had kids. Some just lived. We lost Sarah. Sarah who sat in on that conversation at the lake talking about her dreams of owning a bookstore, but somehow she ended up saving lives as a nurse... And there we went...


....flash forward ten years...

I must say before I even begin this journey that I cut my weekend into two parts. I did not attend many of the reunion festivities due to my commitment to Texas Tech...

I was very excited to show Nick the town I grew up in. My Dad moved away a few years ago and I don't go back too often. We flew in late Thursday night and got to spend time with Dad and Brenda just talking on the couch. Friday we got up and after a lovely breakfast headed to Big Spring. First I took Nick to my childhood street. It still looks the same. I pointed out my home... and that was it there... I wanted to break in and look around. I took him to meet various neighbors and enjoyed catching up with them. I then drove him far out to the cemetery. Quite awkward as she is not really there. I walked over to Mom's grave and pointed it out. Really... what else was there to do with it? He was very kind, but I didn't want to stand there and think about it... so I pointed out a few friends who had passed away and we walked around a bit...




The pep rally was a lot of fun. Chandra is a teacher so she had to go so she brought her baby girl up there so I got to hang out with Landry! There was a small turnout of us which I knew was going to happen, but it was good to see those that were there. Of my group of girls only about four were in attendance. Out of the guys there were only about three! That's okay... Then we all went to the float to ride! Too much fun!!! I saw a few people in the crowd so that was fun to wave and yell at them. Afterwards Nick and I met Casie, Ashley and Emily at Carlos to eat... yummy. We went to the football game, but it was not too eventful... We visited with a few people and sat with Brittany, Lance, Scott and his wife... One person I did see was my mother's best friend, Joy who lives in Austin... this is going to sound insane, but I kept having dreams of Joy and her daughter. Joy's daughter is on Facebook, but she is not so I prayed that somehow God put them in my life. It was her 50th high school reunion and she was back in town. We hugged for a long time and talked... Nice time.




Casie and I


Let's flash back... ummm... twenty years?... Chandra McBee Brooks





One thing that blew my mind is seeing a t-shirt made for the reunion. The names were of those we lost... And then I saw my Mom's name... and Brittany's dad's name... I was in awe... How kind... My gosh, how kind. See, going to Big Spring for events like this brings Mom to the surface. She was a legendary teacher and everyone knows me because of her. She was everyone's favorite teacher... and going back just brings that all out. I enjoy it and it hurts a bit, too. Everything in that town is her. Everything is my childhood with both my parents in my happy little life. We live a different part of the journey now, but when I go home to that place it is all still there. It's neat in a sense. She would have loved hearing the stories of everyone I saw ... Gosh, she would have been right in the middle of it!!!





Scott & Claire


We ended the night by visiting with my dear friend, Stephanie who is my "sister." A few years ago I wrote on and on about her horrific wreck where she was thrown from her sunroof after a diabetic coma and she lost her baby... Well, she is now working out and able to almost jog... My gosh, time does heal wounds. After crushing her ankle in pieces and breaking her entire body she is able to jog. God is there.

Saturday we headed to Lubbock for the Texas Tech vs. UT game. I was going to report for the Red Raider Roadshow so I was excited! We met up with Sarah and Brandon and their family so that was fun. Emily and Ashley came up to hang with us, too... After a bit Mitchell and I went into the crowds and did our interviews... We had a blast with the soundbites. We had so much fun with different people!!! After that Nick and I went into the game... We did not win and it was a long haul, but it was fun. For some reason we drove home to Midland afterwards... that was a brutally long drive.




Stephanie Brown Tettleton


Sunday we hung with Dad and Brenda all day. It was so nice. Dad took me for a ride on his motorcycle! Brenda cooked some gourmet food!!! Gosh, I didn't want to leave. I love being home with my family. We got to the airport and had a large delay and I was so excited to see one of my childhood neighbors, Suzanne who I had visited her family, but she was not there yet... We got to catch up and it was just wonderful.

I love going "home." Ten years... My gosh, I could write a whole book about this journey the past ten years. I thought as the young girl at the lake I would lead the same life as my parents. I thought I'd be married and have kids... it isn't like that as we all see. In ten years I graduated college, I lived in four cities, I changed professions, I lost my mother, I lost a best friend, I gained an entire family, my Dad moved from my childhood home, I went to countless churches... but you know what... I made countless friends, I grew up, I gained perspective and I walked with God... We don't know the journey ten years at a time. I have been through so much in a little time, but I am not a planted flower. As we stood in that gym ten years later and we looked around at everyone's lives we smiled... for we knew somehow we all had helped one another through the journey. Some of us had been friends since kindergarten. Though our lives took different paths our hearts were all planted in the same place and we had an understanding. As ten years has come and gone and I look back on those girls sitting on the lakeside I just smile as they are still some of my favorite people and though we are ten years older our spirits are still those little girls laughing and giggling about their magic eight ball of plans for the future.

Red Raider Roadshow - SMU vs Tech Game Watch Party

My photog, Mitchell... He was a photographer and I was a reporter at CBS 19 in Tyler when we met!!! He is amazing!!!

Update on Hamilton

As I mentioned previously my good friend since fifth grade, Hamilton Hartfield was electrocuted on Sunday. He works for Oncor and was working in Carrollton on a call. I spoke with his girlfriend today and she says the doctors tell her 38% of his body is burned - most of them third degree burns. He went in surgery this morning as they had to electric saw his left arm trying to save the nerves. The nerves could not be detected before the surgery and they want to save the hand. His arms are severely burned as well as his face and neck. One of his ears is pretty much gone. They do believe he has hearing as he was conscious upon arrival and was talking to them... They will have to wait to see if it affected his eyesight. As of right now he is heavily sedated and is on a ventilator to help him breathe. His girlfriend's brother says this could be one of seven to 23 surgeries. His face is very puffy and basically unrecognizable at this time, but the doctors are awaiting to see what the body does to heal itself. Any reconstructive surgery will come last on the face. His legs were not burned so this is where they will take the skin grafts.

Forgive me if I am not 100% on the details. I work where Hamilton lives so I spoke with his girlfriend this morning and I know Kyle has been relaying information to the guys so I have been getting some hearsay... The family says sometimes they are not quite sure of all the details as well. He is at Parkland in Dallas in critical condition at the burn unit. They say we are welcome to visit... I will go up there either later this week or next week... Maybe he will become more coherent as right now they are heavily sedating him as well. I will continue to pass on information.

Ennett, his girlfriend, asks that we pray as much as possible. Spread the word and just keep praying.

Labor Day Weekend

The holiday weekend is quickly coming to an end. It was so nice and actually too short.

Saturday we went to Shanna and John's wedding in McKinney. It was a very beautiful outdoor wedding. Nick's entire family was there so it was good to all hang out. Shanna had everything in pink decor. I fell in love with the wedding cake... I took a picture somewhere... hmmm... might need to find it.

Nick has a signature pose during football season so this is sort of a joke... Guns Up... because I get very angry when he ruins my posed pictures with this!!!




Sunday was the first Texas Tech game of the year! Since I am hosting the Red Raider Roadshow we went up to the Addison Alumni Watching party... We interviewed some crazy folks and got some really really good answers. I hope it all turns out well! Tech won... which I wasn't too worried, but Nick was about to flip his lid. He is very serious about football!!!

Today I spent the day entertaining myself by cleaning and getting ready for Fall. I got new patio furniture so I sat outside and chatted on the phone for a while. Nick's mom and I hit up some sales and came out with some good things. She is a true bargain hunter and I sure don't know how she does it! She can find the sale item in a heap of things!!!

Dad and Brenda are still on their two week roadtrip leaving Yellowstone tomorrow headed into Idaho and back down. They are truly enjoying it. I think they've about covered the entire US in their five year marriage!!! They sure do love to travel! We have barely gotten to talk due to cell phone reception so our daily chats might be three minutes!

I'm trying to smile, but one of my best friends might be going to Heaven. I thought about not mentioning it because it is easier to just "not" talk about it and I don't want to seem a gossip that "knows" everything... My friend, Hamilton went to school with me since Gifted and Talented Class in fourth grade... he now lives at one of the properties my company manages... He often comes up to the office and hangs out with me... Well, he was electrocuted on the job with Oncor and is in critical condition. His insides are burned and his face and body have third degree burns... He is having surgery tomorrow, but they are unsure he will pull through. He is one of the nicest guys I have ever met... my gosh... sickens me... I guess at this point all we can do is pray. I remember in high school Hamilton's dad passed away and I remember asking him about the funeral... I said, "So, how was it?" I didn't know what else to say... He taught me a life lesson right there when he gently laughed and told me there was no way it was... it was a funeral... I have a lot of good memories up to this day with him and I just pray for his entire family as they face this storm.

As the weekend comes to a close we get ready for that Fall weather to hit... I guess I'm in the mode already... Let it begin!