Church Anniversaries

As a little girl I remember running through the halls of our church. I remember endless choir and handbell rehearsals. I remember walking down to my parents' Sunday School room as my mother waited there for me playing the piano. I sipped my first sip of coffee there and quickly spit it out. So many birthday parties in the Family Life Center. Thank God my parents had me at church at every opportunity growing up. First Baptist Church turned 125 years old this Sunday. Ironically I attended a 75th anniversary at Lakeside Baptist in Dallas watching my youth minister from First Baptist growing up as he preached and sat next to one of my churchmates from First Baptist growing up.

It is so interesting to dive into the history of a church. It is interesting to see how they grow and change. Growing up I remember really only one pastor. He retired at some point and we had a hard time finding another one to really stick around. I can tell so many stories of Vacation Bible School, youth basketball, Wednesday night dinners, my friends and I running up and down the halls, peering into the HUGE auditorium when it was so dark just to see what it was like when it wasn't Sunday morning...

Looking back I see how important church is in little one's lives. I never thought anything else of Sunday morning. When I got to high school I think I missed more often just because I was insanely busy and needed an excuse to sleep in! I've told my story about trying to find a church home in different cities so I'll skip that. Sometimes I just get plain lazy and don't attend and others I just need a break and a day to do nothing. I'll admit it. I am so thankful that as a family we went as often as possible and grew with the church.

Nick and I attended the 75th anniversary as I said of a church we barely know, but we enjoyed it. We met one lady who had been a member for over 40 years; she looked to be about 80 and lived in Canton and had come in especially for it. Churches change so much over the years. I remember when we had some contemporary musicians come in high school to the church the older group went insane. They shunned it. Sometimes choir singing bores me, but other times when I know the song I enjoy it. I really enjoy the instruments now paired with the songs we know. So I guess I am sort of in between traditional and conservative. I don't get all bogged down in that like some people. These days society sometimes doesn't think it's cool unless you go to a megachurch and it's as big as Joel Osteen. Why the heck would you go to a small Baptist church? I don't really care as long as the person is happy where they are!

I guess it all boils down to faith. I attended the First United Methodist Youth Group because most of my friends did and I loved it so much. One time we did the trust exercise where everyone holds out their arms and you fall blindly back hoping they will catch you. For me, the most untrusting girl in the world, I was scared to death. I actually did it and they caught me. Yep, so no matter which church whether one year, 75 years, 125 years as long as God is catching us we keep on growing, changing and loving.

Halloweentastic

Kids scatter across the streets dressed in their costumes. They laugh loudly as they run to the houses in search of candy. One night a year we fill large bags full of candy to make the little trick-or-treaters happy and full of sugar. I smile because I remember being one of those little kids one day that seemed not too long ago. I would always go with our best friends of the family. Our best friends, Quintinn led Stephanie and I through the neighborhood. After we got done with both of our neighborhoods we ended up at their grandparents' house. Mr. and Mrs. Annen always gave us a big bag of candy and a present!!! We would empty our loot on the floor and sift through it looking for the best candy. I also went to the school's Halloween carnival each year. Back in the 90s you could actually have a haunted house and say the word "Halloween" at school. Those were the days. This year I gave our candy at Nick's parents house because they live in Lake Highlands and have a lot of visitors. Nick lives in a nice Plano neighborhood, but there is a big festival right down the street so most of the kids go to it instead. We took his dogs for a walk with me wearing my outfit of a little kid in pajamas and my Mom's old huge cow slippers. Lots of people commented on my shoes!

This year for Halloween we decided to throw Geoff a birthday party instead of go out. We all brought fun food and played spooky music... after football was over, of course. The Rangers lost the World Series. Tech lost. Cowboys lost. What a great sports weekend... not. We had fun anyway! I love to dress up, but this year I just didn't get in it too much so I just threw together an outfit and called her Nicki Minaj or Lady Gaga. Not sure which. She had a good time with her microphone and blue hair is all I know. I absolutely love the way imagination comes to life during Halloween. I received an email that Halloween should not be done by Christians and it is a pagan holiday. Oh, puhlease... it's a fun day to dress up and just have fun with life!!! I didn't worship the devil once that day ;)...


Jersey Shore castmate - I think he looks like Pauly D so we shall say Pauly D with his chapstick & his date, Gaga Minaj


"Fist pump, push up, chap stick." Jersey Shore


The gals. Shanna as Nascar chick. Allison as German chick. Michele as sports chick. Keilly as herself chick.


Keilly's husband, Matt is a hot woman.


Yes, Colby overshadowed all of us as the life of the party.


Brothers Nick and Justin DID NOT plan this! Insanely they both came as Jersey Shore castmates in different colors. Freaky.


Time to take that horrible wig off. My Jersey Shore friend is doing push ups while I pose.

Guns Up for the Raiders, Rangers & Cowboys

The world would be neat if it was just filled with weekends. Weekends are either jam packed with entertainment or they are times to chill out with relaxation. This one was so jam packed I am not sure if it was all just a dream or I had that much fun?

First off, no I did not go to church. I address this because I had this blog all planned out about the church I attended last week. Time just squeezed by and now it makes no sense to write it all out. Basically I went to Lakeside Baptist Church in Dallas where my youth minister growing up preaches. He was so funny and amazing at telling the story. I felt so loved and warm with the congregation. Basically Nick and I have been trying to find somewhere we can "plug into" for three years... it just hasn't happened yet. I don't know if this is the answer to my prayers, but I really enjoyed it. Hey, if I get married or die I sure do need to find a church or my funeral will be held on the side of the road! I'll always be a member of First Baptist Church in Big Spring, but it is not my home and not where I will be married. I don't know if I would be married where Mom's funeral was and most of my friends live this way and the family will travel where I tell them to hahaha!!! Seriously, I want to find a place I can grow and meet others to help me grow... I want to find a place like I had in Tyler as it was such a special place...

Okay... back to the point...

So Friday Nick and I just watched "Scream"... classic! I was scared out of my wits for a bit after it. I love scary movies... though they haunt me.




Saturday we went to work out then met up with Emily and her boyfriend for brunch. Emily and I were born on the same day and grew up in the same neighborhood so we have known one another our entire lives! She is an optometrist in Austin so I sure did get to be tortured with the speech about not sleeping in contacts.

By the time we got home from that and got ready it was time to hit the Rangers game! We rode out there Sara and her brother, Jacob and met up with Emily and Matt. We had really great seats and it sure was enjoyable. The biggest thing I see about baseball is the patriotism. I don't really like baseball, but they put America into everything they do. We met some really neat people sitting on both sides of us. The Rangers lost, but we had a fun time anyway. While we are the game texts were flowing in about Tech beating OU. NO one loses at OU's home! Of course I had to give my stepbrother heck because that is his team. The entire way home we listened to the game then when we got home we were able to watch the last two minutes!!! Such an exciting day. I was so wiped out that I really don't remember falling asleep!!!




So Sunday I didn't make it to church... I slept and slept some more then did laundry, cleaning, all that jazz. Why must we do this on Sundays?! I went over to feed Nick's parents' dogs because they were out of town and played with Shiner in the front yard. It was such a beautiful and perfect day!

Jam packed or chilling out... it sure was a good time.

Simple Autumn

I think it's finally Autumn.

The weekend was unexpected and didn't pan out at all like we planned, but I enjoyed it! Nick and I had planned to go to Lubbock so I'd been making plans with family and friends going to see them... blah blah... well, as I said before Nick's best friend is moving to Australia... so he decided he and his girlfriend would come visit us for the weekend. We changed all of our plans and decided to stay here and do the fair, the Texas OU game, maybe the Rangers game... well, that night as we waited they had a change of plans as well and were not able to come down! So Saturday morning Nick, his mom, a family friend and I all went to the OU vs. Texas game. We had amazing seats. It was fun, but I'm not a fan so I went roaming around the fair. I didn't eat any of the crazy food, but I did stare at some of the fried items. Insanity. I was wearing wool shorts because I thought it was Fall and that is what we do; well, I about melted!

That night I went to Primebar in Uptown with Jana, her boyfriend, Andrea, her boyfriend and Kacie & her husband. Notice no Nick because he needs to focus on the game because he is intense so he went to a place in Plano where the game plays on every screen!!! We had such a good time all just chilling out and enjoying one another. We didn't win, but we played well. The quarterback of A&M, Ryan Tannehill grew up with me in Big Spring. To me is a little kid! I cannot believe he is so grown. I was proud of how he played, but ya know I wanted us to win. We tried to beat the torrential rains home! It rained all night... how glorious.

So Sunday I was ready to rest! Just do nothing. All I did was go to the grocery store. I cooked a bit and Nick came over. We just watched TV and that felt great to me. What a different Sunday than those filled at the pool! Ah well it is such a nice little change!!!

Already starting to Christmas shop in this Autumn weather. I'm doing a lot of crafting gifts this year. Trying to experiment early so I do not mess them up! My stepsister got married and my "sister" of the family got married and inherited two boys so they both added a few to my list!!! I told Stephanie she was getting expensive!!!

That's about it for the weekend. Loving the simplicity.

Go West

After the last few weeks I was truly missing home! I love to go home in the Fall.

Brenda took me out shopping Saturday to the little specialty stores and Academy. I can never find anything Texas Tech here! We also hit the mall up for some good little deals. As we walked through Dillards I had a flashback of growing up as we were always in that store. My mother loved Dillards! For one minute I was a little girl again walking through the mall. When we got back to the house we found Dad working on his motorcycle. Now, they have spent the past few weeks getting their bathroom redone. It is gorgeous! It has this huge super shower and granite countertops. I love it! So they had been working out in the work shed getting ready to put things back in the bedroom, but Dad had to take the opportunity to tune up that motorcycle! The football game played as we walked in the house. Ahhh now that is Fall!

Brenda and I worked hard on cake balls that night. It was a long process and she is much neater than me at decorating. They turned out really yummy!

Sunday we took the motorcycles to this german fest out in St. Lawrence. This is a very tiny town with a famous festival. I rode with Brenda and Dad took his own. It is neat to ride as the wind whips at your face. We rode to Big Spring to pick up Howard and Vicki then made the trek to the festival. It was so neat and so fun to all be together. Everyone there was so kind. I'm not used to this all of the time in Dallas. Everyone chatted and made friends. Here sometimes people try to hard to impress one another. I was having a truly good time. The way back was calm as there is not much to look at, but it was fine with me. It was just so nice to be out riding through the nice weather.

The time always comes to an end much too quickly. I love being with Dad and just talking and also hanging out with Brenda. It's nice to get back though to the grind and grocery shop and torture Nick and all that jazz! We are off to Lubbock next weekend so the adventures never stop. Hey, if I can find any excuse to go to West Texas I am right on it!!! It will always be my home.

Holding Hearts

I found something perfect to tie my heart to the funeral today. I want to share it before I write my blog. I wrote this in 2004 in my novella, "Souls of Grace." This passage is basically the true story of the day of my mother's funeral.

"The funeral. I hated that day. I woke up with the sun blasting through my blinds. Murmurs of voices outside my door. It is funny when you are awake, life seems new again. God has granted this new day. But, this day was not new. It was dark to me. I rolled over and threw Happy the Bear against the wall. I shielded my eyes against the bright sunlight trying to make my dark day shine. She was pristine lying in the casket. In the casket they never look the same, but a wax imitation that a coroner creates. The make-up is a little darker, the hair more perfect. I keep all of this inside because talking about pain only makes it seep into my veins. Not feeling is easier because I can move through life instead of drowning in sorrow. We love, we lose. It seems easier to lose than to love. If I didn’t love them, I hadn’t lost them. It is funny how I do not feel pain when I see a person on the news in New York that has been murdered. It means nothing. It means everything when it is my friend, a name I know. If I did not know them, I would not be drowning. Sometimes it is easier to be alone, yet it is impossible to live."

I don't share this to act as if I understand what that family is going through at all. I share this as a sense of loss of how it affects us all so differently. People must realize that family is strong right now. Everything is like fresh dirt. Once it settles and the people stop surrounding you and the cards stop flowing and the flowers are put away... that is when you are needed the most. One day Gabe will walk in from work with his two little boys and have to figure out a nightly routine. They will have to clean out her closet. I remember sitting in my mother's closet surrounded by her clothing and breathing her in. The journey isn't just the time we lose people. That is the hardest part for me to understand. That is when it pulls at the strings of the heart for me. The years down the road.

The funeral was full of family and friends for Lindsay. Our sorority sisters filled four rows. It means the world that everyone comes from their own walks of life to honor a sister. Some were very close; others were acquaintances. That doesn't matter. There was a beautiful slideshow, songs and words from the preacher. The slideshow truly showed what a wonderful mother and wife Lindsay was to her children and Gabe. You could see the love and patience in her eyes.

We will lose many people in this life. It is hard to be happy even though they are in Heaven. The preacher was talking about how Lindsay was talking to God about her stories of life. I want my loved ones here by me telling me their stories. I want Grandmommy back so I can call and talk to her about everything. I want Sarah back to make me laugh and put me in my place. I am sure Lindsay's friends are thinking this right now. It is quite selfish how we do want them here instead of Heaven, but to us it just makes more sense. I wonder why Mom doesn't get bored up there. Come on, you've been there 11 years... time to visit me. It is a ridiculous thought, but we all think it at times, we just don't usually say it aloud.

I deal with things through words. I don't cry at funerals, but I shake. It's like my body's way of feeling. I hate funerals, yet I believe in them. As I said in other blogs, I love a lot of people and I will lose a lot of people. The only way we can get through these things is pure love and holding hearts together. There is just no other way.

In conclusion of this day... It is Lindsay Breault Lewis'day. This young lady was a patient, sweet, caring, lovely girl. I never heard her say a negative thing or saw a frown on her face. She was quiet, but strong. I watched her with her boys one day when I ran into them and those boys just thought she ran the world. They loved her so much. Today a church full of people showed her that she made an impact in their lives. The sweetness of a kind heart can change lives. She is truly an angel.

Holding hearts is the only way through this. Today and tomorrow and five years down the road.

The Living Proof

This is like a piece of artwork for me set to video and music. The song talks about being the living proof that you make it through the darkness. Now... that being said, I know in the future there will always be more darkness. We are never exempt from pain. This is my personal journey showing if I can do it, you can do it. There will be things people don't understand, but each photo means something.

It is not only about going through death of loved ones. It is about tearing into my basketball dreams ripping up my knee... and playing again. It is about a friend having a horrible car wreck and running again. There is a photo of my cousin and I laughing on a dock. He lost his father to cancer and I lost my mother months later... he came to the funeral to support me. We both made it through. There is always going to be some sort of darkness, yet I learned at a young age the world never stops spinning. I learned God doesn't ask our permission. I learned we are all the living proof.