Not A Planted Flower

I have so much on my mind right now that closing my eyes seems to be the only way to make it fade. It's okay though. I like to fill my mind...

I sure am glad to have nurses as friends. Today I was having a mental breakdown about a topic really only a nurse could figure out so I called up my trusted pal, Tiffany. She calmed me down and talked to me in such a sweet manner. I thank God for good friends like this. One time in the news business when I was having a panic attack that I was just sure was a heart attack Stephanie calmed me in this same way... The internet just isn't a real nurse.

I have gotten half of the Christmas shopping done! I have a super list and I try to go by it, but things keep changing! I keep adding people, too!!! Oops!!! I think Cohen and I may hit up a place this weekend and get some of the artsy things out of the way. I am working on major projects for both Nick and Brenda so those take so much effort and time which makes me very happy!!! Now it shall be time for decorating next weekend!!!

Grandmommy made me sad today. November is very hard for her. It contains Grandaddy Bill, Mike, my mom's birthdays along with her anniversary... Mom's birthday would be the 23rd. I don't like to address it. I asked her if she had decorated for Christmas and she practically yelled at me that all the people she loved weren't around for it so it didn't matter... Sometimes she says Dad and I aren't really family since Mom is gone. She knows in her heart that she is my other mother now... Dad is so much closer to her than he was his own mother even... I understand as much as anyone that holidays are hard, but that doesn't mean we shut those we love in a box. It is hard for Dad and I to leave her on Thanksgiving, but when we married Brenda's family we took in all of her family as well which means we split that time. Sometimes I wish she'd accept Dad had to move on in life. We cannot remain the same planted flowers.

I found out I am invited to Kacie's bachelorette party! Kacie cheered with Jana in college and we all became friends during that time. I am so excited! We are getting a hotel in downtown Dallas and getting a limo... ahhh a fun girl time! Yes, another wedding... wow... that makes about six this season!!! YAY!!! Nick may die from wedding overload, but he'll just have to get all pretty and shut his mouth!

That's it... I'm going to bed. God and I need to have a long chat...