Christmas Killing

The holidays may be killing me.

I absolutely love being busy, but right now with the whole to-do list taking up my calendar my sleep is deprived to the max and there is not enough time in my day! Parties… shopping… working out… events… Christmas cards… wrapping… whoa. How do people with kids do it?! Last night I was sure I’d get a break… nope, the boss took the whole company to a Dallas Stars game. Don’t get me wrong – it was a blast. So today I was a walking zombie. I’m thinking I’ll get in a nap before a workout tonight… a workout after I swing by Wal Mart to pick up a prescription and swing by Walgreens to pick up photo cards and oh yeah – my apartments are throwing a little get together! Then I’d go to Nicks… nope… he is going to his parents tonight and insisted I come over there right after work. Hmm…. Boyfriend time squashes the to do list time. In the next week I have Sarah’s birthday party, my girls Christmas gathering at Kacie’s, the Gray Christmas party, McKinney Trade Days to shop for gifts, finish shopping for ole Dad’s gifts trying to find the perfect price, find Nick another perfect gift, send Christmas cards after I had the bright idea to make them myself, go to church, oh yeah sign a new apartment lease, lalalala I am just going to stop there before I pass out. I LOVE IT!!! I love the Christmas spirit and I absolutely love being so blessed with such wonderful opportunities and friends that open their homes! I wonder if they will have wine to calm me?

I keep having to remind myself between all the activity that Christmas is about Jesus. God and I have talked a lot lately. I hate that I get so wrapped up in everything else that sometimes I just “forget.” When I was a reporter I felt like I was helping to change the world because I did story after story to help people during the holidays. I wish I had the money to give and give to people in need. I’ve been working with God to help steer a friend in His direction. This has been going on for a few years now, but it seems that is the best Christmas gift I can give to her. To see Him working in her heart warms my own. I have another friend lost from God and I have been trying to work with her to just see His hand in her life. It’s often so hard for us to share Jesus when we all are fighting our own battles. I lose sight so many times as well.

I am absorbing my blessings this holiday season. My amazing family… my wonderful friends… I was smiling the other day at a memory. One Christmas in high school I was so proud of myself because I spent $50 on my mother a Gap sweatshirt. I knew she would love it. At this time spending that kind of money on anyone but myself was ridiculous! I remember feeling selfless and so happy that I made her smile. It’s funny the gifts we remember. I have bought my Dad many things over the years, but it is the things that meant something to me that I will forever remember. It isn’t about the Polo shirt or satellite radio. It’s about the framed photo or handmade collage. I miss my mother so much during the holidays. She loved decorating and she loved singing and mostly she just loved to make us smile with her gifts. I have so many blessings in my life, but I will always miss her laughter during the holiday season.

Now that my delirium has reached a new level I hope someone will give me some wine. Maybe it will knock me out so I can dream about shopping instead of going through my list in my mind all night!