Calloused

In last week's blog I spoke about kindness. The girl in topic did pass away. I was blown away. She was 28 and seemingly healthy before pneumonia and ARDS hit her. Now everyone is pulling together to wear our pins, sit together at the funeral and do a memorial fund for her two little boys and husband down the road. Again... amazing... the human heart.

I noticed people asking me how to deal with things like this. Some have never lost people. It doesn't bother me to help others and I like to try to heal hearts. I don't say the words most people do and I never spice it up to sound like everything will be fine. I am a bit strange that I am 29 and can do this. For me it is a part of me. It isn't about Mom passing... I was always like this in a sense. They thought when Grandaddy passed away I just didn't understand. Maybe I didn't, but I think God made me for this reason. In doing the math I realized I have been to 23 funerals. The outline... Immediate family: Mom, Grandaddy, Rae, Granny Jac, Grandmommy. Extended family: Judith, Joe Bayless, Kitty Ben. BSHS & Tech Classmates: Gatlin, Derek, Spencer, Sarah, Antwoyne, Meagan, Aaron, Melissa. Friends' family members: Papa Curly, EC, Mimi Carol, Grandpa Gray, Granny A, Papa Annen. Neighbors: Bill. I do go to support others that I love to some. There will also be very many in the future as people lose grandparents and parents close to me. Ugh! I do like to help others so it's okay.

Everyone deals with things differently. I was fearful after going through tough things I would have a calloused heart because it almost makes you feel you cannot feel anymore. But, I have realized I actually have a tender heart. People can tell you that you are strong, but when are you too strong? My grandmother, Jackie was the strongest woman I have ever met. Tough tough, but a good woman. I never saw emotion in her and that scared me that I would become that way. I don't want to ever be too tough.

The most important thing is to always ooze love during any of these times for others. We all hurt deep down in our own ways. Love is truly the only thing that can heal our hearts.