Canvas of West Texas

My mind is always writing. I write while I jog. I write while I sleep. I look to this blog and see I have not written anything on it in a month. Maybe I don't know what to say? Maybe we are just living in Las Vegas and figuring things out so there just isn't much to say. We basically do the same things each day like most. Maybe there is so much to say I just don't sit down and write it out.

I came to West Texas for almost a week to just have a little mini vacation. It's funny as living in Las Vegas, our new land feels like we are always on vacation. No, not because we spend frivolously and do new things each day. It is because we are in a new land finding things each day. It's strange as though you want to get back "home," yet in reality you are home. It still feels like vacation. It doesn't feel real that you live in another state. It seems the house is this vacation house with a beautiful view. I know one day it will feel like a reality, but for now here I am in some sort of vacation/home state of mind. Coming to West Texas always sends me into a different realm. Many memories hit me at once. It's all so wonderful, yet so very nostalgic.I enjoyed every moment while in Midland. I ran over to Big Spring on Thursday to spend a day in my hometown. It has changed so much. It's grown and there are so many new people there that going to Wal Mart isn't a social time anymore! I went to see old neighbors and catch up. I always check on my old house. It looks pretty much the same! Then I ran out to the cemetery to check on Mom's site and Sarah's and look around. I believe Sarah's dad visits every day so hers is decorated and so beautiful. Mom's is a bit sad, but she isn't really there so it doesn't bother me that much. I just like to look around and make sure it's all going well there still. I know they aren't there so it's very strange and surreal. I did say a few words to Sarah. I have never been shy about talking about my dreams. Mom and Sarah are there a lot. I thought seeing Sarah's grave would make me realize she is gone... as in my dreams she has usually faked her death. I still dream the same dream though. I know it is just how my mind works. I have come to peace with that...

So then I went to Stephanie's to visit the family. I gave the three boys some StubHub sunglasses! They were so excited! It was nice to just hang out and catch up. Then I went out to Chandra's so we could go watch Landry perform at halftime at the Big Spring powder puff game. It was so adorable!!! I went down to the field and found Kerry and Mrs. Tannehill. Mrs. Tannehill's son is the quarterback for the Miami Dolphins so it's always fun to hear their insight. He says it is so fun to play in the NFL. One of the other sons is the quarterback for the Big Spring Steers so I see his future is bright. Kerry is always one of my favorites to see, she is just an angel in my life. It was so fun to get to hang out with Chandra and her family. We always laugh a lot.

Back in Midland I enjoyed time with Dad and Brenda. We got mani/pedis, went to a play, ate too much, took a lot of walks with Chewy... the norm! The weather was outstanding! I love just talking and absorbing time with Dad and Brenda. During my time I did miss Nick, I must admit! He was all alone back at the house so I was just hoping he wouldn't go biking at midnight or climb a tree, boy things... In a perfect world we would all live close and get to see one another more often. I would love to live in West Texas! Maybe Lubbock as I don't know too much about Midland. It's very crowded right now! The feel of Texas is so special. Everyone is so kind and just in great spirits. I was very sad to leave, but knew it was time to get back to everyday life.

Life does feel like a blank canvas. It's weird not to have all of the colors splashed on the canvas in their perfect place. It's also beautiful at the same time. Brenda always reminds me God has a plan for everything. Every time I try to analyze that plan another color is splashed on my canvas. Here's to painting!