Thrilled

First question. Does anyone know what today is?

No... because I have weird anniversaries. NINE years ago today I ended my basketball career. My ACL tore in half for the second time and my "life" was gone. It was God... I know now... because it lead me to One Act Play - one of the best times of my life. I didn't have to play under that hideous witch of a coach whom still haunts me in my dreams. I was burned out truth be told. My mother went to all of my games, but this was a day game so she was not there and oddly my Dad was! He had to miss some games due to work... He quietly let me finish out the day with my friends, but he knew... he knew my knee was shot! I told him not to tell Mom because she'd freak out. Nahhhh they made me go to the doctor! Where's my anniversary cake?

I truly believe God is always trying to teach me things and show me things. Sometimes I forget in the hustle and bustle, but there are way too many "coincidences" in life. Just today I got a letter in the mail from my a company that had been bought out by another company blah blah blah... well, a long time ago I tried to roll over a very old 401 K of mine from working at the news station in Abilene. Somehow in the new company all of my usernames were lost so I just put it on the back burner because it was only a few hundred dollars. Well, lately it was bothering me that it was my money and I just wanted it. I was wondering if God could throw me some money or something... strangely almost three years after leaving KTAB I get this envelope saying they have my information and my address now... so I could roll it over or take it out... coincidence?

Thanksgiving is filling the air! I am thrilled! So excited to see everyone and eat some great food! I adore Brenda's family!!! They are such nice people. Really Thanksgiving is opening season for Christmas to me. Maybe I'll get up at 5 AM to shop with Brenda!!! Ummm... maybe? I read Tammy's blog about cooking a turkey. I didn't know you had to find its neck. I am not cooking a turkey - EVER. I like Thanksgiving desserts!!! Who cares about turkey?!!

We went to House of Blues tonight for a work function. It was really neat. I had never been before. I love the city, but I think I like living on the outskirts of actual downtown and all of the action. Too much for me! I got hit on by a scary hispanic man and then a beggar asked me for money. Ahhh... the atmosphere of the place was amazing though!

And lastly... Delilah has Christmas music on at night now. I am THRILLED!

Not A Planted Flower

I have so much on my mind right now that closing my eyes seems to be the only way to make it fade. It's okay though. I like to fill my mind...

I sure am glad to have nurses as friends. Today I was having a mental breakdown about a topic really only a nurse could figure out so I called up my trusted pal, Tiffany. She calmed me down and talked to me in such a sweet manner. I thank God for good friends like this. One time in the news business when I was having a panic attack that I was just sure was a heart attack Stephanie calmed me in this same way... The internet just isn't a real nurse.

I have gotten half of the Christmas shopping done! I have a super list and I try to go by it, but things keep changing! I keep adding people, too!!! Oops!!! I think Cohen and I may hit up a place this weekend and get some of the artsy things out of the way. I am working on major projects for both Nick and Brenda so those take so much effort and time which makes me very happy!!! Now it shall be time for decorating next weekend!!!

Grandmommy made me sad today. November is very hard for her. It contains Grandaddy Bill, Mike, my mom's birthdays along with her anniversary... Mom's birthday would be the 23rd. I don't like to address it. I asked her if she had decorated for Christmas and she practically yelled at me that all the people she loved weren't around for it so it didn't matter... Sometimes she says Dad and I aren't really family since Mom is gone. She knows in her heart that she is my other mother now... Dad is so much closer to her than he was his own mother even... I understand as much as anyone that holidays are hard, but that doesn't mean we shut those we love in a box. It is hard for Dad and I to leave her on Thanksgiving, but when we married Brenda's family we took in all of her family as well which means we split that time. Sometimes I wish she'd accept Dad had to move on in life. We cannot remain the same planted flowers.

I found out I am invited to Kacie's bachelorette party! Kacie cheered with Jana in college and we all became friends during that time. I am so excited! We are getting a hotel in downtown Dallas and getting a limo... ahhh a fun girl time! Yes, another wedding... wow... that makes about six this season!!! YAY!!! Nick may die from wedding overload, but he'll just have to get all pretty and shut his mouth!

That's it... I'm going to bed. God and I need to have a long chat...

Rebel

I don't really remember my first date. I guess you could say it was skating with Jordan at Skateland in fifth grade. Or being picked up in an actual car by Blake when I was fourteen to go eat at Whataburger then go to the football game. Nick is taking me on a date tonight. Somehow we make it a big deal because we enjoy hanging out with friends or chilling on his couch. Nick thinks that if you give roses every day or go out to dinner every night that you lose that sense of special. I kept bugging him that he never takes me out so maybe it isn't that he is sweet, but he wants to shut me up! Of course we go on extra fun activities like floating the river, to a million weddings, Tech football games, to visit the countryside... those are special times indeed. He has surprises in plan... all I can know is we are going to Kona Grill. I love that place! I am excited about getting all dressed up for a special time.

Dad told me last night his boss was taking him out to eat at this very nice restaurant... why... because he has been with Chevron Texaco 25 years!!! That is a LOT in the oil field with the ups and downs back in the 80s and layoffs here and there and throwing him from place to place. After Mom passed Dad spent all of his time working in Colorado, Utah and Ozona. He has definitely earned that time. I am so proud of him. I remember when I was little he had to work a lot of weekends and Mom and I went to church by ourselves a lot. He missed holidays and worked late... I am so proud of this work mentality because he shows me that you must work very hard to be successful and climbing the ladder is so rewarding in the end. Now he basically makes his own schedule and can buy the world if he wants... My dad is such a hero in every way.

Last night after work I stopped by Nick's parents to give them a framed photo of his Papa for his mother... Dianne and I spent forever on the back porch just talking. It was so nice. I would love to live near my family one day... we shall see...

Grandmommy was making fun of me for wanting to buy Dad a carbon monoxide detector for Christmas. She laughed and said that Dad told her, "Julie is so afraid of living." I was taken aback, but he is so right! I worry so much at times that I forget to live in the moment. I think I have done better as the years have passed, but sometimes I just go in the motion of work, workout, computer, sleep... repeat. I don't want to be afraid to live, but living on the edge is just not a part of me. I think I need a little rebel in me.

It's also Kathryn's birthday weekend... So excited to get all of the girls together. I want to go Christmas shopping, too... Hope I can fit it all in... or maybe I shall be really lazy! I guess to start the weekend maybe I should begin to work a little at work today. Naaahhhh....

A Football Wedding

The weekend has flown by and I am left with happy memories once again.


I went to a wedding unlike any other this weekend. It was a full day event. I have been in, what, nine weddings and I've attended so many I've lost count... so that is saying a lot! Nick, Geoff, Tony and I headed to Southlake to celebrate Josh and Karen's uniting. The wedding was beyond beautiful in this gorgeous Catholic church. After the hour long session we all headed to Karen's parents' house for the layover. We didn't know what to do so we mainly just mingled, nibbled and the boys were extremely happy to find a TV with football... of course. Even the men were hooting and hollering. I was happy when Sara got there so I wasn't the only lady in the middle of men with their football sickness.


The reception was not only beautiful, but so much fun. I was telling Dad today that this family spent a countless amount of money, but the good time was not about the beauty of it all. The best thing about this wedding was the people just made it fun. The dancing was non stop and the energy was so high. We could have been celebrating at the slaughterhouse and it would have been just as wonderful.

Sara's parents

Tech played OSU this weekend and the world thought we would lose. Good thing the boys found a TV at the hotel bar as they spent most of the night sneaking away! Nick was nice enough to stay and eat with me so I wouldn't sit alone at the table... ummm after a bit of a protest he was missing the kickoff! I danced with the groom's brother while he was watching football to entertain myself! The game was surreal. We just killed them. My stepbrother and his wife live in Oklahoma and are die hard fans so I couldn't resist giving them some heck. I don't get crazy about rankings because it plain scares me. I'm just so excited, but I also fear the ending... That's one problem with me... always fearing being too happy because it might disappear... It's just so neat to see people loving your team and see us doing so well. We deserve this after so long. We lived in the shadows and we were always good... we just hadn't had that time to shine.


When I knew we were just killing them I draped Nick's jacket over me and went to sit outside the reception hall for some peace and quiet to just reflect on it all! There was an interesting occurrence which I cannot go into the details, but it was interesting to me. Yes, I am very closed with feelings and deepness... It's funny because I have such a big mouth, but when it comes to issues that truly matter I draw a line, but I still want to share my thoughts.
Kodak moments. That is what the world seems to call them. Moments captured when the flashes of the camera are not flashing. Or maybe when they are... My mind reflects back to some times in my life that are the most precious moments captured in my mind. Tiffany and I crying on a curb outside the sorority house as our tears fell together talking about my mother and her family. Times with my parents on Saturday mornings nestled in between them watching cartoons. Singing loudly to Lesley Gore with my mother in the car. I have so many of these times with my high school friends, my times of reporting, sorority times... gosh... I had one of these times with Nick last night as sometimes when you just take off the masks you see so much into a person. I was hurt; he thought it was over something totally irrelevant to the real problem... and finally when we got down to the bottom of it ... it was one of those moments. It's very hard for me to speak my heart. Maybe it always has been. Maybe it's fear of people leaving for Heaven like my mother. But, for me to open up to any degree in the realm of heart it is like stabbing myself in that artery!



And... to end the great weekend... This morning I went back to the small Baptist church. I don't think it will be my home, but the preacher was really great. I am a bit tired of searching and searching, but God has a plan... as Nick said last night, "Some things are above human control and you can't disrespect that." Blah blah yes he sounds nice, but sometimes the guy drives me totally insane... In all seriousness God will lead me. It's time for bed and for another week at work. It's all in God's hands once again. As I said before... I am scared to death of both happiness and sadness, but always looking up for Him to direct my path.

Politics in a Box

This week America made history and I suppose I should bookmark it in my life. I do question if America even really made history. Obama was elected President. I don't even want to spell his whole name out because it isn't American and it confuses me. The world will still stand and our lives will still turn, but many Americans are saying we elected the first African American President. It is technically true, but I don't truly believe it truly changes America's background unless you elect Condi Rice or Martin Luther King. Obama is half of this race meaning sitting there watching Oprah cry that the entire world is changed... just isn't true. African Americans are equal in the professional realm in my eyes. I don't think Obama is any different than any other President in a professional style of the sense. Yes, his ideas might be different and his family may be a different shade of skin, but this race did not need to be all about "race." I don't care what color you are while running this country, just run it and respect it. I must say we have come so very far in this world to this day from the days of when our ancestors owned slaves. Somewhere in the middle of America's life... life evolved. I am all for equality... even though at times many would beg to differ as some of the words that fly out of my mouth make me seem very old fashioned. Sometimes I get intertwined with the old fashioned ideas and beliefs, but I do truly believe it is about personality and leadership instead of race when it comes to leading an entire country.

Now... as for the whole gay marriage thing not passing... I decided I want people to be happy. If being gay makes someone happy... then my gosh, go for it. It's very hard for me to stand behind that fact, but I do have gay and lesbian friends and I do want them to be happy. I try to live by the Bible, but I also know the Bible was written thousands of years ago when life was very different. I don't know if they had gays yet, but I do know God isn't going to send you to Hell for loving someone. I may not understand the choices, but if we are talking about equality in America then let's just not make it a gray area. It's black or white... in ethical terms, not racial terms. We are either equal all across the board... or we segregate "perfect" in one box and all the rest in tiny little boxes surrounding it.

Raiders Roll

Texas Tech defeats Texas. The news is buzzing across every aura in my life and I constantly hear football chitter chat. I am a bit footballed out at the very moment, but that doesn't stop me from being beyond proud of my Red Raiders.




THE OVERALL FEELING -

The entire day was filled with school pride. I never felt much at Tech because I was so absorbed in sorority life, but everywhere you looked there were Techsans. Lines flowed out of eateries and the Spirit Shop. People were screaming and honking waving their Tech flags. It was never about winning to me, but about having that feeling of accomplishment and excitement. As I watched the game and Texas made a comeback I did feel my heart sinking. It wasn't about having that one win to shout, to me it was just about having that pride that UT always throws in our face year after year. We almost won in 2003 and I remember just being so sad as Stephanie and Cohen and I watched it because once again we couldn't shout defeat. It's more of a pride rivalry than the actual numbers to me. When Crabtree caught the final ball to score the touchdown my jaw dropped and I pumped my fist in the air. We had really done it! It was so neat to watch history right in front of your eyes and just see the love pouring out of those young men.

My sorority sister, Jana

My best friend, Chandra

My cousin, Jaclyn

THE OVERALL EXPERIENCE- Nick, Brandon, Sara and I made the trek to the game getting in very late on Friday night. I was just happy to have a bed. Saturday was filled with the excitement of tailgating before the game. My cousin, Jaclyn is a junior in high school so I thought it'd be fun if she followed us around for the day to get a dose of Texas Tech. We picked up our other cousin, Josh along the way! We all had such a blast. I cannot tell you how many miles I walked around that campus. I went to so many tailgates and to visit so many friends. The list... Jana, Shannon, Michelle, Kylee, Ashley S, Chandra, Ashley R, Anna, Meredith, Kim, Rachel, Eric, Chelsey, Jon Fong, Blake, Sherman, Galen... the list is too long to name everyone I ran into!!! When Nick and the gang went to stand in line for the game I went back to hang with Jana at the Beta tailgate. No, we weren't partying it up with frat guys per se, but our friend Brandon was there and Jana flew in from Phoenix so we needed some old friend time! Jaclyn, Josh and I fought the crowds to find Chandra and her friends after that. My feet were full of blisters, but it was way too much fun to stop. We finally found them ... on the other side of the stadium. I didn't go to the actual game, but I stayed for a while watching it at my cousin Galen's tailgate party. I was tired of laying on the ground with screaming drunken people after a while so when Jaclyn left she took me to the house! After the game we went out until about 3 AM. Very out of the ordinary for me! It was so much fun though to drive around town and hear everyone honking and screaming. It just felt very surreal and neat. After a lunch at Spankys Sunday we headed home tired, but excited. This was such a wonderful time with old friends, new friends and a piece of history. I thank God for allowing me to have such nice memories of the Texas vs. Tech weekend.

My cousin, Josh
Galen & Jaclyn
My sorority sister, Anna & her sister
Sara

Decisions Decisions

Time is ticking for me to make a decision about my weekend plans. I hate decisions. And the weekend will pass and I will feel dumb for even wasting time making decisions.

I can go to Lubbock with the rest of the world for Tech vs. UT. It'd be a very unique experience as it is like a Tech Reunion as so many Raiders are returning... Most of my friends from college will be there. Jana is even flying in from Phoenix. Chandra and her entire group are reuniting. My cousin, Galen has his own little tailgate. Man... oh man... what good times to be had! My worries are sleeping on a couch... or a floor... and not having set plans. This drives me insane.

Or Lauren's trolley party is tomorrow night. I bought a gothic punk rocker outfit. I love to be gothic!!! A bunch of friends from high school are going to downtown Dallas for it. It'd be a blast as well. I've seen most of them lately though... I could stay and go to First Monday Trade Days to Christmas shop knowing I might not find a thing. I could apartment hunt, but I really doubt I will do that with so much football excitement Saturday.

What holds me back with my fears?

Nick is giving me until noon tomorrow to make a decision. He is so pumped about the game. I might not even see him very much as he is actually going to the game, but that's fine with me because I can hop from tailgate to tailgate visiting old friends.

I want God to make my decision. He always knows best.