Sunday, March 6, 2011

West Texas Sunset

The West Texas sunset ran across the sky as I quietly drove over the plains. Each time I come home it is as if a blanket is put over me and I can get away from the hustle of life for a few days. There is a place my family lives called Welch, Texas and each time I go there I feel as if I am so far away that no one can touch me. It's good to get these escapes from our own realities as it is a type of medicine.

I flew to Midland Thursday night to spend a few days with Dad and Brenda. They had a day of fun planned on Friday! Brenda and I went and had manis and pedis that morning. I love it! Then we ate at Fazolis because we don't have one in the Metroplex... Then Dad took us shopping for a few things here and there. It was a beautiful day so we got on the motorcycles and took a little spin. Then Brenda and I took a walk around the neighborhood. Seems so simple, doesn't it? I loved every minute.

Saturday we attended a seminar by Gary Chapman. He wrote a book I have called "The Five Love Languages." Come to find out the seminar was more of a marriage enhancement so I felt a little dumb, but I learned a lot to tell Nick. My love language is affirmation and you have to tell me you love me and tell me with words. Nick likes to be shown affection by action. You mow the lawn or do his laundry. Dad likes quality time where you sit down and talk to him. We learned so many things. The most important thing is trying not to change people. Trying to love them and changing flaws instead of the root of the person. Love is SO STRONG. Though it is strong it is also something we must nurture and grow. We have to work on relationships because if we don't then they will not grow and they will wither away. It's about being positive to our significant other and not tearing them down each day. It's easy to tear someone down, but it's harder to just love them and be positive each day to build them up. I also learned it's okay to feel emotion. It says in the Bible God got angry... something along those lines. He made our emotions. Overall I learned a lot to take with me and definitely thing everyone should attend some type of seminar of this sort.

Brenda & Gary Chapman

I went over to Big Spring today to visit Chandra. I grew up there, yet it's so different now. I went to the cemetery... Not see Mom like you'd think... I did go by her grave and again am annoyed there are not flowers. I thought in a grave owned by people and not the city they put flowers in the holders! I am going to have to decorate it myself!!! I told her hello and that I knew she wasn't there so I felt pretty dumb. I walked around for 20 minutes before I finally found Sarah's grave. I wanted to visit it forever, but I couldn't find it. I don't know if or why, but somehow my mind needs some closure. I have dreamt her for almost two years as she comes back and she was never deceased. I don't know if this means I don't believe or understand she is gone. When I dream of Mom a lot she is back from the dead and living again... but, she is also about to die again or run away. It's very strange... but, that shows my mind believes she is truly gone and maybe we are always trying to keep moving? Sarah has always played a trick on us or was in hiding. So I stood there just talking to her. There is a picture on her grave and she looks so beautiful. I know she isn't there... but, still... I told her how much I always loved her and how it makes me so sad to think of how special she was to all of us. I told her I was sorry I didn't answer the night she called... the night before she passed away... I had answered every other time, but it was the middle of the night... I love Sarah so much and I always will. She was the light in every room.

I then was driving to Chandra's when I saw Howard and Vicki working on Stephanie's new place so I stopped in to have a chat. Stephanie was walking out the door to go get Trooper so we all talked for a while. My oldest friends in the world... so very special.

I hadn't seen Landry since she was a few months old. She looks just like her daddy. He was out so Chandra, Landry and I hung out for a few hours. We watched "Baby Can Read" - ummm yes... the baby is the boss and she wanted to watch it! She is almost one year old now!!! She was crawling around and I enjoyed making her laugh. She has these huge blue eyes and dark hair... adorable. Chandra has been my best friend for as long as I can remember. We had a great time just talking.

As I drove back that is when I saw the sunset. I would love in Dallas if we could see sunsets and stars. I beg Nick one day somehow we get to move to the suburbs of Dallas so it feels like this setting. See, I never take it for granted. I know where my roots are and I know though I have wings that have taken me away from here my roots will never be cut. It's weird coming to Midland as it is not my hometown and that is a good thing because with who I am as a person I needed that cut from me. It was hard to go home and absorb all of those memories for so long. I needed to grow as a person by my Dad and Brenda moving away. If they would have stayed in my house I might not have grown?

It's been a wonderful vacation and soon it will be back to real life. We all must return because... if you think about it... even on the beaches of Cabo San Lucas one Spring I remember knowing soon I needed to get back to reality and gets things done... We cannot stay on vacation forever. The idea sounds nice, but the habits we do each day of laundry, DVR, feeding the cat, checking our e-mail, hanging up towels... deep down these keep us alive just a little bit. They humanize us and they bring us back to earth. The funny thing is... That sunset is there every single day no matter where we are. We just have to find it.

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