Friday, January 30, 2009


I came upon a verse today that I want to talk about... It's been on my mind, but I can never find it... "For a man's mouth speaks what his heart is full of." Isaiah 6:45... I began to wonder of what my mouth speaks?

I talk a lot. I talk about myself. I talk about work. I talk about life. I love to talk! I guess out of my mouth sometimes there is too much negativity, but along with it I always try to be a realist and find the positive in those things. I don't speak about God enough and I don't speak enough of peace.

I notice I talk about my family a lot. Nick says I am obsessed with family. I really love them. They are so special to me. When you have been through what I have with losing my mother so young I don't take anyone for granted. I yearn to make my stepbrother and sister true siblings. I make myself a sibling to my cousins. My dad and stepmother are very close to me. As well as my grandmother. I don't live right next door to them and that doesn't mean I am ever taking them for granted... It means there must always be space in love. If you hold people too tightly they become quicksand.

I speak about special friends a lot. Friendship is so sacred to the world. God has blessed me with some angels. I speak about Chandra, my very best friend like the world should know her... my world should know her because she is like a sister to me. Sometimes my dad gets confused and tells me to slow down because he just doesn't know this person of whom I speak! I must stop and realize people don't live in my little land. My friends are often on my heart and I do talk about them just because I do love them. It isn't a hard science. I wonder what man would be without friendship?

Maybe I'm like any other woman, but I guess I speak about style, tanning, nails, movies, celebrities... such material things... but, I guess it's okay to throw in some fun to the heart! I notice when I speak about my mother or heart disease I get very passionate. My heart becomes a warrior and I could talk for days. I can talk about loss, ACL injury, Stephanie's wreck, anxiety...all in the same warrior tone because I am passionate and very seriously knowledgeable on the subjects. These things are very close to my heart and have impacted each day of my life.

Listen to your heart. They say it all of the time. I understand sometimes I speak of things that are negative and sometimes I gossip and sometimes I fall. I must remember in these times that I need to let the goodness shine... Others are listening to us. God is listening to me.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

25 Things

This is the obsession going around Facebook right now. It is so fun to read about everyone!

25 things about you...

1. I am obsessed with gum. I think I will get married chewing gum.

2. I was a television reporter and still am at heart. I don't love the news, but I love being on television.

3. I have torn my ACL in my knee TWICE. Reconstructive surgery takes six months of Rehab... I met some of my best friends in Rehab, but I wouldn't recommend it.

4. When I was a Kappa Delta I won awards for Most Spirited, New Member of the Year and Senior of the Year. I never missed a meeting in Kappa Delta. Can you say I am either loyal or obsessive?

5. I have written a novella. 40,000 words. It's called "Souls of Grace" about the loss of a best friend and falling in love. I enjoy reading it.

6. I played basketball for twelve years. I went to basketball camp for ten. Then I tore my ACL as you read above and my career ended...

7. My uncle is a tennis professional in Dallas. He is sponsored by Wilson and gets lots of free things. I like to brag on him, but that's his entire life... tennis...

8. I am the only child, grandchild and niece. Only Child Syndrome?!!

9. I have shot parts in two movies. I have been a co-star on a reality television show called "Anchorwoman." My two movie parts were cut. My reality show bombed after two episodes. I'll still win an Oscar one day!

10. I already have bridesmaids and pallbearers picked out. I update the list each year. Would you like to hear it? Bridesmaids - Chandra McBee (Lifelong BFF), Stephanie Stewart Harrison (Lifelong BFF), Jana Seibold (Sorority Sister), Sarah Cohen (Sorority Sister), Tiffany Nolder Williams (Sorority Sister), Stephanie Brown Tettleton (Sorority Sister), Wendy Walker (Former Co-worker)... Pallbearers... Steven Corn (Stepbrother), Cody Rudio (Lifelong BFF), Blair Nutting (High School BFF), Landon Brush (Cousin), Galen Roberts (Cousin), Bryce Adams (Cousin).

11. Do you want to know why I have pallbearers picked out? Because when they hand you that blank sheet of paper at a funeral meeting it is horrible and shocking... I have experience.... My mother passed away when I was 19 of a heart attack. She was my best friend. It has shaped my life in countless ways and I still think of her and miss her every single day.

12. Also, my mother was a legendary teacher in BSISD and for most of my life all of the older generation knew me as "Mrs. Adams daughter." I take great pride in that title.

13. I got baptized in 1989. God and I have been on an insane journey, but I trust Him and continue to learn from Him each day. My foundation in the church growing up there each Sunday and involved in everything makes me who I am today.

14. I have been with Nick Gray since April 2008 and I love each day of having him in my life. We teach each other many things and we grow and learn in God together. Longest relationship of my life unless you count Jordan Partee from third grade to sixth grade.

15. I have had the same two best friends since I was three years old. Chandra McBee and Stephanie Stewart.

16. On that note... I try to keep in touch with anyone and everyone that made an impact in my heart. I love friends very much!!! I keep in touch with people I have known since birth.

17. When you know that many people you attend many funerals... and weddings.

18. I have a weird way of coping with things. I smile through pain. At Mom's funeral I waved at people. I was either in total shock, plain insane or just using my coping mechanism. Mom noticed this when Grandaddy passed away when I was eleven as I acted the same way. I cry when no one is watching.

19. I have been in nine weddings. 27 dresses here I come...

20. A psychic told me at the fair in 2000 I would get married in seven years. She lied.

21. I have had weird diseases. I once was covered in what looked like burns and my extremities were swollen; all of this due to the fact my body was allergic to the toxins of the flu virus. I have also had blood poisoning due to the fact I didn't tell my parents I skated into a bush of thorns. I get a version of laryngitis each year. I think it makes my voice sexy.

22. I talk to my Dad every day. Since Mom passed away there have only been five days we have not spoken and that is because he or I were in a place we could not get reception. The conversations may be very short, but it's important to connect with those you love...

23. I love pigs. I don't know why... but, when I was young and Cody's family ate Wilbur I thought he was a pet and I was distraught... Oh, I love me some sausage, but I do love pink piggies as well.

24. I interviewed a lot of celebrities and I learned they are very normal people. Even Will & Jada... Jay Novacek... Lisa Loeb... Joe Nichols... That is why I did reporting... my obsession with E! Entertainment.

25. Here's one for my family. I ate a worm when I was four. Ross told me it was yummy so I washed him and ate him. I will never live it down.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009


Days like this make me miss Lubbock. The roads were covered with ice this morning so deep that even I got to come into work late. This is a miracle. I sipped my coffee while watching the Oxygen Network and just enjoyed my morning. Usually I am rushing to throw on the coffee and get out the door by 7:30 AM.

From what I understand lots of folks in my 'ville of West Texas are imprisoned in their home. I stole this from my friend's blog and I like it...

From the book Walking With God by John Eldredge.

"I'm sitting on the porch of our cabin listening to the rain on the tin roof and watching it fall on all my plans for the day. I cannot hike. I cannot do chores. I cannot fish. the mud is so deep, I cannot drive anywhere. I'm trapped. Pinned down. With myself and God. There is nothing I can do but pay attention to what surfaces inside of me when I cannot charge into the day. I am paying attention... This rain is a mercy."

Sometimes I think we all feel like this man, but we try to escape in any way possible. Sometimes when it is very dark and late at night we all get this feeling, but many choose to ignore it. The ice was this mercy for many... It's actually a very neat thing if we'd only stop to listen.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Celebrating a Life, Celebrating a Death

I met Nick the day before my grandmother passed away last March. I wrote in my journal something to the effect of as life is blown out like a candle another flame is lit thus always keeping a cycle of life and death. This weekend my grandmother passed away just as we were celebrating my birthday and celebrating the excitement of two families coming together in hopes for a bright future. I choose to celebrate her death as she is welcomed into Heaven by my grandfather and those that have passed before her.

Dad and Brenda came to Dallas this weekend to celebrate my 27th birthday. I am very sick with the killer sinus eating bug, but I fought right through it. They took me grocery shopping and we all cooked together. It was so nice to just have them there and to hang out. Then we all went to Uncle Julio's with Nick, his mother and father. I think my parents really enjoyed them! They talked about all kinds of things and really got along. After dinner we came back to have cake at my apartment!!! It was amazing to just have that must life in my apartment. Brenda is so very thoughtful and creative with everything she does. Dad also had a good time and he looked so nice in my Polo shirt I gave him for Christmas! The entire weekend was a candle lit with friendship and hope for a future.

I had a dream last week that Grandaddy told me Rae passed away. Grandaddy has been in Heaven since 1993... Rae is my Dad's stepmother... I didn't think much about it until a few days later Rae popped into my mind and I started wondering about her last stroke many, many years ago. I have NO idea as to why either of these things happened... until Dad wrote me an e-mail last week that Rae had fallen and had a head injury and wasn't expected to live - She had fallen the week before... the same week Grandaddy told me she passed away... She never regained consciousness from her fall, then another stroke followed or caused the fall... She passed away Saturday morning in her sleep.

Growing up I applaud my parents for not really letting me see the effects of divorce between Grandaddy and Granny Jac. Back in the 70s it was basically unheard of to get divorced... Grandaddy and Rae were married when Dad was already grown, about 30 years old. We did separate our holidays and do all of those things, but it was never a big deal in my world... it was just my world. I loved having three grandmothers! I had not seen Rae in probably twelve years as she moved to West Virginia, but we talked regularly through e-mails. She always kept Grandaddy's memory alive. Rae had this dry sense of humor and was always sweet, always making me laugh. She had a love for dolls and expensive leather shoes. I just thought this was so neat. One time I told her to stop buying me expensive dolls and just buy me Barbies! She would order Dad things from Neiman Marcus - a NM ice cream scooper and ordered shoes from Italy! She was such a neat human being! She made Grandaddy laugh and was with him every day until he passed away from cancer. She and her granddaughter, Kammie shared a love of theater and I didn't understand this until I was older. I never wanted to go see a show... I didn't respect it until college. I think she missed Grandaddy immensely and she's smiling up there now to be standing beside him. I feel a little guilt for not giving her the attention she deserved all my life, but she knew I loved her and more than that, she knew Grandaddy is/was my hero.

Yes, who does Grandaddy resemble? I hear it all the time!!!

I think we called that ball Rascal. Rascal got lost...

I look at these pictures and I see my Dad's face in Grandaddy's... Grandaddy was the nicest man I ever knew with a bold smile and a quick temper if you stepped on him. He was giving and Christian... a war hero... I see him in my Dad as the years go by... I remember being very small and Grandaddy would tip his finger at cars as they drove by - I asked him why... he said, Just saying hello! He took me on a Harley ride one time... He loved motorcycles! I remember also he loved boots! And his garden... It's funny that these days it's hard to find men like my Dad and Grandaddy. Good, old fashioned, hard working, nice men. I think I may have found one though... Grandaddy never spoke an ill word of Granny Jac as I know he once had a deep love for her. That is very important to a young girl as it taught me grace and forgiveness. We would go on walks down to this little store down the lane in Snyder. I don't remember much about it, but I remember getting stuck one day in the rain and it was so fun. Grandaddy passed away of heart cancer in July of 1993 - I asked him not to pass away during basketball camp, but he didn't listen to me. We visited the hospital every weekend if I remember correctly... My Dad lost his best friend. It's so inspirational to look back on their relationship and our relationship with Grandaddy. My family is very, very blessed.

So we all mourn the loss of Rae. She lived a long life and was ready to go to Heaven. I don't see it as an age... I understand I will lose Grandmommy one day, but to me they don't seem old at 81. Rae is being cremated so I will go with the family to a memorial in Colleyville next Friday. Then I will fly to Midland to be with my family at the graveside in Snyder on Saturday.

Celebrating a new life in Heaven, celebrating a new year on earth and celebrating the life of new beginnings...

Friday, January 23, 2009

My Little World

I'm thanking God it's Friday. It seems to be raining on me. Oh... nothing truly bad... but, little things that add up. You know, like I cannot find my favorite jeans and I know they are in a stack somewhere. Where is the other half of my earring? I spent forever cleaning coffee out of the mat in my car. I mopped my floor and my cat decided to fling his cat food on it. Nick put me on a budget plan so I can figure out all of my finances and how to budget. Meaning no new things in February!!! I couldn't find my ID and was about to panic and did so for a few hours only to find it later in my kitchen. Oh, there's more, but I'll leave it at that. And... I'm sick!!! I just love sinuses. The best thing - All of these little things mean nothing in the big picture of life! There are all just that - little obstacles. I still need to dig for my favorite jeans though.

But... happy to say... Dad and Brenda are coming today!!! I'm excited to show them around my little world. We are going to eat with Nick's family. I hope that is a lot of fun. Tonight I am going to dinner with a good friend from high school, Hayley. Not that I can taste anything... but, it will be fun! I love when Dad comes, but I hope I can figure a way to help them both entertain and relax. He's had a long week in Houston so I want him to enjoy it.

I had a dream something serious happened... and it is happening. I cannot elaborate at this time, but I find that very surreal. Sometimes God works in weird ways. I dream a lot of insane things and most of them are just my subconscious fear and such. My stepsister swears her grandmother came to tell her goodbye in her dreams the night she passed away. A friend of mine dreams about other friends and knows they need her. Wow. That must be God.

So many exciting things going on. This sinus thing needs to go away so I can enjoy all of my blessings!!! On another note - I worked out last night with Cohen and she was telling me about this class she is taking... See, Sarah was raised Jewish/Catholic so she needs answers. Well, the beginning of this class spoke on the base of Jesus... who is Jesus? Not... is he the healer of all healers? But... who was he as a man? It was such a good topic as we sat there and analyzed. We always think of Jesus in this big picture of JESUS... but, every day as he walked through the towns... he was a man and people thought he was insane and he was persecuted every day, but still he showed his grace and mercy every single day. I told her the best concrete evidence I can come up with to tell her about Jesus is that so many men died for their beliefs after he was buried and rose again... Those men would not sacrifice their lives for their beliefs if Jesus did not do the things he said... Insane people do not lead the life that Jesus lead either... he was stable in all of his actions and works... It's hard to find that scientific evidence to share, but that is the best you can do from analyzation. It's interesting to me today to just plain think about who Jesus was walking the streets... I like it.

I've had to use a bit of my "Jesus power." I have a friend who for lack of a better word hates another friend of mine. It is a deep hate that involves a deep love and a suicide. Now, I watched my grandmother have hate for all of my life so I understand the way it eats at you and it just isn't worth it. I spoke to her about forgiveness and the pain. She would not back down, but I felt like I flexed those muscles of love as much as I possible could... I will keep giving and giving and one day she may forgive the other and she may accept the fact I do not choose sides. I do feel God is trying to teach me something through this... It's hard to be a good leader and it's hard to find the right things to say and do in such a situation.

I am going to a meeting now. Again... yay for Friday!!!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Only Child Birthday Syndrome

Only Child Syndrome was in full swing on my 27th birthday. I love when it attacks me like that and I feel so special! In all reality I had a really nice day. Despite having to work I had a delightful time. The day began with my phone ringing at 5:50 AM as Nick's mother, Dianne sang to me. I couldn't go to sleep as then my mind was excited.

The phone didn't stop ringing. I loved that. Texts, e-mails, messages, phone calls... all make the day worthwhile. I have eight best friends who I call my bridesmaids - Stephanie Stewart Harrison, Chandra McBee, Wendy Walker, Sarah Cohen, Tiffany Nolder Williams, Stephanie Brown Tettleton, Jana Seibold and Lauren Fraser. You could probably add a flex to that list with Andrea Mayard, Paige Hundemer and Keele Barnes Bisping as people get bumped up and down the list! (By the way when I really do get married there probably won't really be EIGHT bridesmaids... maybe six, but it's been a running joke since 2000!)... I heard from all of these women which made me feel so very happy. My stepbrother is really my only loved one that "forgot" - but, he's a manly man and I'll forgive him! I truly am blessed with wonderful people in my life. I am so very thankful.

During lunch I went to tan as I guess I just want to look like a Cheetoh. To make myself happy I spoke with Brenda, Chandra and Dad for a while. After work I headed to Nick's parents. We sat with them for about an hour or so just chit chatting. It was very delightful. Then Nick took me to St. Martins. It is a very elegant place - the kind with a few different forks and a menu that you just cannot pronounce. I ordered Caesar salad, Chilean sea bass with spinach cous cous and chocolate pecan cake! I was in Heaven! Before we ate Nick told me, "Thank you for putting up with me." What an awesome gift - sweet words!!!

Since it was a work night we headed to my house maybe to watch a movie. Instead of watching one though we got tangled up in A&E's "Paranormal State." It's one of my favorite shows about ghosts! Then I went to bed by about 11. It was awesome!

Today the whole world is about Obama. I'm not very political and truthfully I am really not that into it. I may sound un-American, but it's just how I feel. I do pray for change within the world for the better and I hope for the future. I am starting my crusade for American Heart Association things for women for next month... it's not about money, but I need to start getting the word out. I am so passionate as I have lost my grandfather, mother and grandmother to this disease. I hate young women to have to face the Hell I have faced in the past eight years without my mother. I wish we could just "fix" this... and yes, it's about being healthy, but my grandfather ran five miles before he fell over and my grandmother was tall and thin all her life so it isn't always about being overweight or stuffed with cholesterol. It's not about raising money to me... but, there are so many crusades for cancer and Aids... I want there to be a stronger one for what ate half of my family's spirit!!!


Thank God for the blessings of this birthday month. The best quote of the day came from my dear cousin, Donna - "I think 27 is a great age. Old enough to know better a lot of things we used to think. Young enough to know what great blessings lie ahead of you. Mainly that you how much we love you and hope this is a special day for you. Be sure to Bless those around you. May God make Himself known to you in a special way on your special day." - WHAT A GREAT WAY TO LIVE LIFE.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Birthday Party Weekend

Two pictures that describe my wonderful weekend.

My Texas Tech women: Erin, Kathryn, Andrea, Anna, Nikki, Jana, Shyloh, Raelyn & Julie M.

My favorite friends dancing. Melissa, Andrea, Kristen

My party Friday was held at BlackFinn. It was so amazing and wonderful. So many different groups of friends together in one place for me. We had such a nice time dancing and catching up and just having a good time.

Nick got me daisies and roses because white roses are my favorite.

Sarah Cohen and I have tried to celebrate each birthday together since 2000!
Lauren - Friends since first grade

Blair - One of my best friends from high school
Missy - Friends since Tech broadcasting - Melissa reports for NBC in Dallas now

My hot date, Nick
Anna, Andrea, Shyloh

Andrea, Anna, Julie, Kristen

Jana - One of my "Bridesmaids" in life

Kacie's wedding was held at the Delaney Vineyards in Grapevine. It was so nice and so wonderful to be with friends. I was the only girl there it seemed that did not cheer with them in college so as they did the fight song I watched in awe that they remembered the steps. Kacie and Brian looked so happy and she was such a trooper dancing like a star in her dress. Those girls sure love to dance!

Mrs. Kacie Rowland Griffith

Tomorrow I turn 27. I don't know how I feel - Part of me wants the day to go away because I just don't want to be 27. Part of me wants to put my arms around it though in happiness that I have such a blessed life. I am so thankful for my family and friends. God has always blessed me in this way. I learn so much each year, but one thing I always try to work on is loving each day and living to the fullest. I never dreamed what life would be like at 27. I thought it would be so different, but I am blessed beyond measure with what I have today in 2009 at age 27. I miss my Mom so very much and it saddens me to remember all of the wonderful ways she celebrated my birthday for me... the small things like sending me flowers, trying to throw me a surprise party, giving me stuffed animals, putting "Happy Birthday" paper plates on my locker... I miss her. So cheers to tomorrow and a toast to many more years of blessings.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Only Julie Strikes Again

So McMama has Not Me! Monday... Today is Yes Me! Wednesday... Let's just say my morning started off less than perfect. Only Julie strikes again!!!... I woke up an hour early because I had a meeting bright and early... As I stumbled around trying to get dressed I am not even quite sure how my make up went on straight. I fumbled with one earring and as it fell to the floor and crashed into a million pieces I went on to the next set... wellllll as I fumbled with it trying to stick it in my ear it broke in half... good thing these weren't my diamonds! I tried to find another set, but the clock was ticking along... We had a great meeting at the Westin Galleria. Great breakfast, met some new clients, yada yada... well, so we pack everything up and I am in charge of carrying this large box of miniature commercial real estate signs... made of wood and nails. They are about one feet tall... okay... so I am in my high heels and very sleepy... as we get to the escalator I just cannot figure out how to get down it. So I set the box on the escalator step and....... yep, they tumble down the whole thing breaking off legs and landing at the bottom. People come running out thinking we've fallen down the stairs! They stop the thing and I am quickly trying to fix my mess. My boss stands there with his arms folded staring at me. Oops?

I had a blessed night last night... I am going to tell the world because it is just a small portrait of how we can think no one cares about us when there are people out there thinking of you and you have no idea!!! First, I get a call from a sorority sister that's been my friend for eight years. Kasey Hicks. We don't talk often... in fact, I didn't have her number anymore. She calls to invite me to her wedding! We ended up talking about an hour about life! I told her if she of all people can settle down... I can... This girl has been a missionary and traveled all over the world never thinking to stop and date. She met Mike and it all fit together...

Then Kale Steed calls... Kale was my photographer when I was an intern at KCBD in college. He is now on air in Amarillo. We talked forever just catching up as well!!! Nothing like old friends...

Then I'm on the treadmill watching "The Biggest Loser" just lost in it wondering who gets voted off when Brittany Roberson Brock calls... Brittany and I have been friends since we were born and she was my roomie in Stangel as freshmen. I hooked her and her husband, Lance up in fifth grade... yep... They were Head Cheerleader and Quarterback in high school - how cliche and adorable is that! I take full responsibility... ummm yeah... We catch up every now and then, but we hadn't talked in a few months.

It just made me smile to talk to old friends. God has a good sense of humor to make me smile when the night before I was just utterly depressed about my economic future (because I am so tired of hearing over and over about how the economy is going to eat my wallet). Atleast we have love!

Nick informed me last night he is taking me to a place downtown called St. Vincents for my birthday. I am very excited. He says it is very expensive and we don't do that often, but this calls for celebration. I would be happy going to Furrs... okay...maybe not, but I don't care about how much a place costs as long as I am in good company! One time in junior high or high school I made my parents go to Taco Villa. Ahhh I love it! What a great birthday dinner... I heart Taco Villa!

The celebration is still underway for Friday night... I've had some really great surprising friends say they are coming. I am very thrilled to see them. My Dad and Brenda are coming next weekend!!! They haven't been here in a while... I need to figure out how to entertain them? Brenda likes a clean house so I must scrub and scrub... I need a maid ;). Brittany was telling me Lance had a job before where they could spend crazily and have all of those luxuries, but he was never ever home... Now he has a "normal" job and they cannot do that, but he is actually home and she gets to enjoy their marriage. I think I vow for number two. Money means nothing if there is no relationship. Back to the point... I love to visit my family.

Maybe if I take a nap I won't be so clutzy...

Good thing I like to smile.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Candles A Coming

I am excited and stressed at the same time. Can that be possible?!

Stress encounters the fact of apartment moving and figuring out leasing... but, I am thrilled to be moving to such an awesome place at a good price in Plano! Now... if I could just get it all to come together in a perfect fit... Middle of the month means bills are due. That's always so much fun... I'm thinking since I am never really home... I mean, what's a few hours at home when it's interrupted by an hour of workout and I don't want to hang out on the computer after being on it at work... thinking of not having Internet or DVR at the new place... hmmm???

Excited about my birthday party and Kacie's wedding!!! Birthdays always make me feel special. We have gotten a private area at this place called BlackFinn that is really nice in Addison. It's free ... well, as long as your guests spend a limited amount of money and it's so low it won't be a problem with my people... I sent out 50 evites and I figure ahhhh 20 or 25 will come? That's one thing - I always try to invite different groups and not seclude anyone. I just want everyone to have fun and enjoy one another. I've had some great responses and some of my very favorite people are already coming so I am pumped!!! Turning 27 is so depressing to me, but as long as I am surrounded by love I think I can make it... I hope someone brings me wrinkle cream.

Kacie's wedding is Saturday night at Delaney Vineyards. That is where Chandra is getting married as well. I'm excited because we always have such a good time with that group of folks. Kacie is so sweet and just so much fun. I just love weddings!!!

My real birthday is Monday. I was looking back in my blogs and every year I seem to write about Mom on my birthday... I miss her a lot on my birthday... I have dreamt about her a lot lately. It's so very strange. I guess that will never fade and I'm okay with that fact. If she had lived until today she would probably be very ill because as she aged she had a lot of physical problems. I would have worried so much about her... One time she was laying in pain on the couch just crying out because of a stomach problem and I wanted so badly to switch places with her. I hated it. But... I guess I still want her here. That just won't change. Maybe she can throw me a birthday party in Heaven. I'll tell her I'd like some snow for my birthday. Or... she could just rain on me some big ole dollar bills.

I went to a meeting yesterday with a client and we got on the topic of church. I think God is listening to me because this man and my old friend told me about the same church... Soooo I shall try it out! I'm very excited!!! It was neat to sit there and talk religion with a client. Nick and I have different views on churches so we need to meet somewhere in the middle. I also want to meet other godly young people and learn from them. I have wonderful friends and we are spread out at many different churches, but it's important to be plugged in to people that are always edifying you.

Today is my anniversary at my company. I've done so much in a year professionally for the company. I still miss reporting... I guess I always will, but I suppress the bad parts of it when I know it eats away at your soul. Sometimes I cannot believe how fast a year is… sometimes I cannot believe how slow the time creeps… Crawling up a ladder.

On my last note… I’m perfecting the art of coffee. I’m almost ready to start my own Starbucks.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Not Me! Monday

Not Me! Monday was created by: - Chronicles the life of a mother with four children under three! It's a hilarious way to humble ourselves!

Not Me! Monday begins with the fact I did NOT make coffee this morning without coffee in my filter. When I went to pour me a stifling hot cup of coffee it most certainly was not just water and old coffee particles.

I did NOT make Geoff, Tony and Nick watch "Sex and the City" Saturday night. No... why do they need to learn the ins and outs of women?

I did NOT turn my white clothing pink by washing it with a bright red USC sweatshirt. That's why there's a cold water cycle, right?

I did not yell and scream at the television while watching the Golden Globes Awards. Then I most certainly did not explain to Nick in a heated voice about the passion of an actress winning an award... and then recite my Oscar speech.

I did NOT sit on the front of the fireplace somehow and singe a hole in the side of my thigh from the heat.

I did not giggle out loud as Nick explained to his parents in a singing voice with hand gestures how Baptists sing and sing and sing the same thing over and over with their hands raised up in the air. God doesn't really strike with lightning... does He?!!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Finding A Church Home

I have a serious thought for this blog, but first let's catch up. I just went shopping for a birthday dress, Kacie's wedding and my real birthday dinner. So I got a BCBG dress for 75% off! You just cannot beat that type of luck. I am going to look pretty good. I just received an invite to Lance's birthday next Saturday. I hope Nick and I can get from the wedding to their house in the same night. It's been a low key weekend with a lot of chilling out and business. Now we are at Nick's parents about to have dinner. 

We went to Prairie Creek Baptist in Plano today. It is becoming quite difficult for me to find a church home. Yesterday I looked up what each church was talking about and chose Prairie because I like 2 Peter. It's so hard to figure it out. Andrea and I can to Watermark a lot, but it's such a production and thousands of people fill the stands. I don't feel a personal connection. Nick and I have gone to two Catholic churches. It is very formal and I feel as if I am in the Bible instead of studying it. It is very foreign" to me. I want to find a place where there is true comfort and I enjoy the pastor. I would also like to get involved with young adults to grow and learn. My church in Tyler was amazing, but I also sometimes wonder if I went more for socialization instead of the teaching? It is such an important part of life to me. I grew up in such a wonderful church and was involved in two other churches besides mine so it is my foundation. I guess only God knows!!!

Oh... and tonight is the Golden Globes! Yes... here we goooooo!!!  

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Only Julie Ramblings

Who can resist "Only Julie" stories?

I'm sitting in my office working away when a very large cockroach glides across the floor. I am appalled because I have never seen a cockroach in an office!!! At my news station in Abilene the janitors told me there were rats in the attic, but I hate cockroaches more than rats. I suddenly had a call from a client come in so here I am sitting on top of my desk talking business to the client! I wanted to tell him all about my problem, but felt like it might be unprofessional. I ran downstairs to tell them to kill it and they laughed at me. I thought about it for a minute, but killing a living thing might not be in God's book. Does He entertain roaches? So this thing roams around and around... we lose him... and then Staci comes in ready for the kill. She chases him, but fails to kill him... So he runs into my boss' office. By this time you have three women shrieking and running from a huge two inch creature!!! We lost him... and minutes later I hear my boss scream as the thing is right by her foot!!! Finally one of the guys from downstairs come to the rescue. He catches it in an envelope and takes it outside. He didn't kill it!!! I find it hilarious three grown women are basically standing on their desks running away from it. I was literally shaking. I hate bugs. Hate. Hate. Hate. One time in sixth grade Chandra sprayed her hair with Raid instead of hairspray at my house as we got ready for a wedding... and I did the same thing a few weeks later on the first day of school! All because of bugs.

Now... today is a special day. I have four birthdays to remember today! One of them is my "child," D'Layna Nicole Smith. She is the daughter of my cousin, Sara. Layna turns nine today making me feel very, very old. She has been very special to me since the day she was born. She is my little Mini-Me. We have a very special connection and I treat her as my own child. When she was three I taught her to call me "Princess Aunt Julie." The little girl has been put through a lot as her grandparents, my "godparents," Donna and Bill have custody of her and she is slowly reconnecting with her real dad. Sara is on the right track now married with two kids, but it would be too hard to take D'Layna out of her environment now! She is full of wisdom beyond her years, loves cheerleading, church, basketball and tumbling! She hates boys... give it two more years... and she is in the attitude stage of telling you what to do! I remember I used to talk to her like an equal when I would visit West Texas and ask about her day... I remember she was about five and she finally gave me this long explanation of her day. I knew then she was growing up. The entire Roberts family of cousins has always been like brothers and sisters to both my Dad (He lived with them for a summer) and for me. Dad lost his favorite cousin, Lori Ann, Donna's daughter out of three other girls, to a car accident... The weirdest thing to all of us is that D'Layna looks almost just like Lori... even weirder... D'Layna's mother, Sara, was adopted... yet we all look alike... Now that's God! I taught D'Layna at a young age about taking pictures and she knows when Aunt Julie is around you take pictures... and you steal her gum...

Okay... tonight is the OU vs. Florida game. I have been informed I will be cooking for the boys and Sarah! Here we go!!!...

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Celebrate Me

I often wonder what I can write about because like many others that blog I do not have pictures of my children eating spinach or tales that will change the lives of my readers. I just write to write because I am a writer. And, maybe, I have an interesting life? I've been trying to get out of the rut of basically doing the same thing every day and absorbing each day to the fullest. In the past year I have taken many more invitations and actually gone out to have fun. Last weekend at Kacie's bachelorette party I realized it was "okay" to have fun! I think for so long I felt guilty for enjoying life because I had so much taken away when Mom passed and I thought it was disrespectful to truly live after such heartache... but, now I realize you have to live again and you have to take the journey to your own happiness... So I know I don't always go out and dance and take all my invitations, but I have learned to flex my social and intellectual muscles in so many ways. I like that.

The other night Geoff, Nick and I were flipping the channels from the UT game to whatever else was on... No, Geoff is not my second boyfriend, but he is Nick's roommate so it often feels like I date the entire household! Now, Geoff is a big ole scary dude... He is 6'4 and weighs like 260 or 300... Like a wrestler... and he has tattoos! But, he is a huge teddy bear and he absolutely loves history and Edgar Allen Poe... so we turn on the History Channel and there is a thing about Revelations. I have a hard time with that book because it is so confusing. The whole show was about the end times and disaster. It scared me to the core, but it was also so intriguing. I told the boys I wasn't sure if I believed that part of the Bible... but, it's a part of the Bible so I should... It's just so written in code and confusing to me. It talks about swords coming out of the Lord's mouth and seven heads and creatures covered in eyes. Needless to say we were all in total silence in awe watching this show!

I'm perturbed because I went to the gym last night to find it infested with people. I guess everyone is trying to lose weight as a resolution. I got on two broken machines before I finally found a treadmill. I was so flustered that I left after only fifteen minutes! I swear... the gyms need to make every television work in coordination with my earpieces and my machines should be free!!! It makes me want a cookie!!!

Oh yeah... so my birthday is in two weeks. I'm trying to figure out a plan. Do I want to get all of the groups together for a night out or do I want to just get a small group for dinner and a night out? I go crazy on invites so I need to be careful! I have Kacie's wedding on the 17th which is a Saturday... then my birthday is on a Monday so I am trying to figure out a neat place for Nick to take me. I want my family to come visit probably that next weekend so that leaves Friday! Hmmm... I like Birthday Month!!! It's my entire month to celebrate me!!!

Now... to celebrate me... it's time for lunch.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Kacie's Bachelorette Party

It's back to work. Not quite sure it feels like a real work day as the rain is pelting upon the sidewalk and we are all nestled inside the office. Slowly but surely. I began the day by making coffee in my new coffeepot. I love it! Much better than spending money each day on coffee!!!

We celebrated Kacie's bachelorette party this weekend. There were sixteen gals. We began the night at the Magnolia Hotel in downtown Dallas. Andrea worked all day to set everything up with all of the food and martini mixtures. She did such a wonderful job!

Jana, Kacie, Jules

WWW Women - Raelyn, Kathryn, Andrea, Anna, Kacie, Julie

We hung out, ate, drank martinis and played games. There was a mixture of girls there - her old cheerleader friends from Tech, her church friends and her high school friends so that was really neat. I made some new friends, too!

Julie, Kathryn, Kacie - In the limo

Then the limo came to get us and took us to Ghost Bar. Well... okay... we had Kacie's seventeen year old sister with us so despite having a table and everything set up at the Bar... we did not get in due to lack of age! No problem... we didn't want to leave her so we went to Liar's Den.

Old College Pals - Kacie, Shyloh, Andrea, Julie, Jana

It was a lot of fun. We were all dancing and singing despite people staring at us. It was so neat because no one cared. We were having too much fun to care! I let loose and had a good time.

Andrea and I dancing - She loves to dance!

The other Julie, Kathryn and I decided to leave around midnight because dancing until 2 AM is just not in my cards! I know I sound boring, but we had partied since 5 PM so it was time to get home and sleep! The limo came to get us and we enjoyed having it all to ourselves on the ride back! We all had a great time celebrating Kacie!!!

I had a leisurely Sunday and got a lot of rest to hit the work week. I just found out tonight is the Fiesta Bowl so I called Nick and told him I am coming over. I know he hates football right now, but you can't miss such a big game! Since when do I watch so much football?!!

Friday, January 2, 2009


I think the world may have ended. My boyfriend thinks there is no tomorrow. Nope, Tech lost to Ole Miss today in the Cotton Bowl. He has given up all hope in sports. One thing I just might never understand about men... it totally ruins their day. I remember when the LADY STEERS basketball team lost a huge game and I was PLAYING... yes, then I was sad. One time I got my three point shot blocked clear thrown in my face. Tears for hours. I thought the world was over. I taped over that game so in reality history is erased! So we end the season 12-2. Hey, I think that is amazing. I went undefeated as a Packers cheerleader in fifth grade. That's the last time I remember being undefeated. But, alas, not many teams have that same fate. The Red Raiders were so wonderful this year and I am glad to have instilled some school pride. I had a good time watching them play all year. Needless to say... I took Nick some ice cream to nurse his wounds. Maybe if this lasts I will never have to watch sports again? Naah...

Kacie's bachelorette party is Saturday night. Limos, martinis, laughter... what a night! I'm excited. Not too excited I have to wear a cold cocktail dress though! Jana flew in from Phoenix, Shyloh flew in from Lubbock - yaaaay!!! I have been in nine weddings and attended ... ummm... 1,000?... BUT... I have never been to a bachelorette party!!! Why? I think because when I was a reporter I was working! Funny FYI...

So I guess the world didn't end because the bachelorette party is still on.

I still say GUNS UP. There will be bad games and better teams, but no one can defeat your faith.


It's officially 2009. I just cannot believe it. My whole world is going to the Cotton Bowl today, but I am stuck at work... bored... All my friends from high school, my sorority sisters, my crowd... all tailgating for the game!!! Wait, why is the rest of the world on a normal corporate schedule and I am not?!

Justin, Stefan & Donna

We rang in 2009 at Nick's house. There were about 25 people there. It was a lot of fun. We all just hung out and enjoyed life. I like to watch Dick Clark, but I don't understand why he has teeny boppers perform then throws in some Lionel Richie. Maybe I should have just watched Kathy Griffin and Anderson Cooper! I don't have the best photos because I'm sure Ashton's camera has those, but I was able to snag a few. I'll steal the best from the other folks later. At a minute before midnight being me I was trying to set up my timer for a group photo, but Nick was yelling at me because he thinks I am insane with my pictures... so at about 20 seconds I gave up and stood by him! I didn't want to ring in the year with a "bang!"

We all counted down and for a split second I was nostalgic about the past year and just remembering all of it. Each year is almost a triumph to get through for everyone because the world never stops spinning.

Ashton, Julie, Nick
My sorority sister, Keilly

Everyone makes fun of Nick's stupid Guns Up... so he had to do it.
Blake & his new girlfriend

I pray 2009 is a good year. I'm almost afraid to face it because a new slate means anything can happen. There are some things I would really like to change in my life, but it takes so much to change things within yourself. I don't have a set resolution as I said before, but I would like to just make some things happen that would enhance my life both professionally and personally. Hey, I already "cooked" queso last night... that starts the beginning of my cooking "resolution"!!!

Well, Nick and I both have a lot of friends in from out of town for the game. Kacie's bachelorette party is this weekend and I get to see Jana! We are getting a limo and jetting around downtown and staying in a historic hotel. She'll love it! I'm excited to enter the first weekend of 2009! Cheers!!!