Wednesday, February 20, 2013

The Rules

You hear all the old wisdom... "Don't go to bed angry." "Agree to disagree." "Don't change the other." I think I've gotten those rules down. Maybe so, but I'm learning more and more about marriage each day. Most parents make it look easy. Mine did anyway. I had this idea for marriage that you go singing and dancing into your new house with all your stuff and your dog and your cat, and your life is perfect. I am learning marriage is work. Great work, but to get there it takes working together. I'm not yet married, yet I know getting to that wedding aisle is work. You have to work together with the one God made for you to get to that singing and dancing place. We've sat for countless hours talking about things, and still then you don't know everything until you actually live together. You can say, Look I'm going to fold the toothpaste this way, and, Hey, I like to throw my towels on the floor. You can say it, but until I see it, I cannot act on it. I truthfully don't see how people just jump into marriage without thinking. We have thought through this for almost five years! I'm ready to hop down that aisle!

Plans are going well. I've gotten the dress, sent out the Save the Dates, gotten my eight bridesmaids in order, all that fun stuff. I've done just about everything you have to put in stone. Now we move towards the bachelorette parties, the showers, the shoes, his ring, the honeymoon, the cake topper, the programs, the gifts, ya know... I have a planner so I don't pass out, and boy, does she help! We are getting married in a Catholic church so we are going to start going to some classes this week. I think it will be pretty neat. I've had to remind myself at the middle of all of this are two people uniting in marriage. I'm still me, yes, but, it's about both of us. It sure is fun to get wrapped up in all the hoopla, but when it comes down to it, we are the ones dancing and singing into our new lives. So we know, "Don't go to bed angry," as I never leave Nick if we have a disagreement, we sit down and figure it out because I don't want my eyes to be all swollen the next day from no sleep... and well, it's the smart thing to do. And we know, "Agree to disagree," as there are just some things in the world you may never see with the same heart. "Don't change the other," yes, we know, because we are both stubborn people and at heart we are both pretty good folks, so what's there to change? Parents make it look easy. You know why? Because Nick's parents have been together over 30 years and follow these same steps. My parents were together 27 years before Mom passed and they always worked it out. Brenda and Dad have been together since 2003 and they put God in the middle of everything and work it out. So hopefully one day we can make it look easy, too, that is, unless he folds the toothpaste wrong for over a year.

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