I've never been a big Thanksgiving person. I don't look back and get excited about turkey. First off I don't really enjoy the meal itself. If you know me I eat some crazy concoctions so turkey, taters and green beans just bore me a little bit. I could eat stuffing and macaroni all day atleast. I also remember it was always around Mom's birthday so we probably rolled it all into one. I am much more of a Christmas girl. I just start to bubble over with Christmas magic as Thanksgiving dinner is served so it may as well be the start of the season for me! I still look to thanks on the holiday and remember there is so much to be thankful for.
When we go through the storms of life we are forced to look for happiness in the tiniest ladybug. I have always said this. We find joy in the smallest things because it's a lot easier than always finding the bad things. So this year hasn't been so great. It's a fact and I don't want to dive into that fact, but it's been trying for my heart. It's funny though because our own perspective is that life is falling apart, but once when I told Dad about this or that, he said, "You haven't been through too much. You are okay." Boy, is he right. Sometimes it is so much easier to focus on the negative things. Strength doesn't always make us stronger per se it makes us calloused, but it also makes us thankful.
When I look at my family and friends I am immediately thankful to God. I thank Him each night for the angels of my life. I cannot even explain this thankfulness in words. My Dad is the wisest man I have ever met as well as the most thoughtful, the most humble, the most kind-hearted. My stepmother fits with us so well as she is just so sweet, moral, Christian, thoughtful, creative. My entire Adams and Corn family just warm me. Without family whether blood or not we are nothing. Friends in that category of family as well. They carry me on their wings when I am sad. They make me laugh. They keep me going. Sometimes when nothing makes sense friends step in to give you a shoulder. If we only look we are able to find amazing people... sent from God. Thankful.
Nick continues to keep me laughing, makes me angry at times when he tells me the truth, pushes me to keep going, keeps being thoughtful and blowing me away at every chance he can. His family is wonderful and angelic. We joke around a lot because that is just how I show affection, but he better know I'm thankful. We've both been in situations where we felt helpless for the other going through tough stuff. Sometimes I wonder how couples that have never faced anything together really make it. Somehow it makes us stronger. To get me to realize something and face something I have to be pushed and pushed to the brink then I just melt away.
I've always liked to run from obstacles, but sometimes being pushed is the only way you are thankful. I don't want to deal with Grandmommy's things. I don't want to call my uncle wondering about the house selling and the car selling and all the business. I didn't want to go to the funeral home and I wanted to tell the preacher I needed more said about her at the funeral, but doesn't it make me thankful? Thankful that I have a family support system that stepped in to deal with the business. Thankful for Mom's cousin and a family friend to help plan, thankful to my Dad to go to everything with and grieve together even without the words to just know, thankful that she went without a fight the way she wanted to go. Annoyed selfishly she is not here for me, thankful she is in Heaven because that is all she wanted for years. Thankful I still miss her when I want to call, but so thankful I don't dream of her meaning I am peace she is in Heaven with Mom and Grandaddy Bill and all of her family.
I know a lot of people and I love a lot of people. I began thinking this year more and more about God's grace. You want to talk about something to be thankful for! I look back ever since I was a little girl and I see God in the smallest things we never understood at the time. Do you want to know something funny I have probably said before? When I tore my ACL my freshman year of high school I thought life was over. I asked God why for years. My knee would never be the same for basketball. Well, ya know what is funny, I met my good friend, Keele Barnes in Rehab. She was from another school so I doubt we would have ever hung out otherwise. When I moved to Dallas who introduced me to Nicholas? Keele Barnes. It's simple and I'm sure there were a million other reasons I tore that ACL, but something that happened in 1996 could have lead to 2008 to Nick who has been a huge part of my world. I don't sit down to map out God though. There is no way I could ever predict Him or understand Him, I know. But, sometimes it's nice to sit down and just realize the blessings in life. I try not to ever take anything for granted because we are never promised anything in this life, but that we are not alone.
I am so thankful for my wonderful youth minister in Big Spring, Texas now pastoring in Dallas. What are the odds? I never thought you could come close to recreating the environment in which I grew up at church, but here it is right in the heart of Lake Highlands.
I know I'm writing a lot about faith in being thankful. I struggle a lot with faith at times so even I must remind myself. We all feel lost at times and we all don't understand the journey at times. Sometimes there will be these years that we are on top of the world. Then there will be other times when life is crumbling. Things are never perfect for anyone and everyone is always fighting a harder battle. I enjoy my life and I enjoy the sunshine of each day. I am so thankful to God for giving us His grace and mercy because I know I sure do fail Him many times!
And, yes, I sure am thankful for that gobblin' dinner. I'm even more thankful for those sitting around the table as I snap their photos and they grimace at the camera because it's always in my hand and then we watch football in the recliners as the men grab a catnip and we play dice games as the laughter embraces the entire room and I talk to my little cousins about their lives and their friends and give them advice that atleast right now they follow and then we tell old stories about the adults growing up and we hug and laugh until the day is almost over. Now that's Thanksgiving.