Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Valentines Weekend

I began writing this last night, but I had a bad day so it was very negative... I had to tweak a few things...

The day began with being stuck in traffic and ended with the annoying girl on my elliptical. Yes, my elliptical. I wanted to shove her off because, you know, we all think we own our machine at the gym. It's quite funny now to think about! I did find another elliptical... but it wasn't mine!!!

My Valentines weekend was great. Friday they drug me to Cowboys for Kristen's birthday. Now, I thought this place was a club and I was highly against going because Nick tells me I have an old soul. Sarah Cohen begged me telling me she would just sit and chill with me all night so I agreed. Actually it was a really neat place. It was older people dancing around to country music. It was a lot of fun. Nick and I even danced, but with high heels on I slipped a lot!

Sarah & Me

Saturday evening we went to dinner at Nick's client's home. It was a really nice time. Andy has three BMWs in his pristine garage... They are so beautiful, but they are more show cars... I would rather drive them! We had such a a great time with Andy and his wife just talking and enjoying the night. See... maybe I do have an old soul? I like it that way.

Sunday for Valentines Nick cooked me breakfast and he was so proud of himself. He hates Valentines, but he still managed to get me flowers and cook me breakfast so he doesn't hate it as much as he claims. So later that night I cooked him steak... This is a HUGE deal for me. I cook chicken is all! I don't much like red meat, but men do. I made it in the oven and I did take a bite - yummmmmy. We had a really great Valentines Day. I didn't go to church because I worked and it was just too much of a rush and I was just too lazy... I'm pretty annoyed with myself so I have been watching podcasts, but I know it doesn't take the place of church. Not cool, Julie. Anyway... we ended the night by watching "Couples Retreat" and we had a really nice day.

My family is coming this weekend and I am so very excited. In 2010 I am beginning to get overwhelmed with weddings, bachelorette parties, baby showers, wedding showers... I am so glad for some down time with the family. I love the blessing of so many friends, but it sure is hard to make it to everything. As you can probably tell with my old soul I probably won't make most of the bachelorette parties!!! Ugh... do old souls not live it up or do we just not care about people dancing and drinking it up? I'd like to think I'm young at heart and maybe just a little uptight!

Nine years for Mom is next week. Not sure how I will "celebrate" the day yet. My claws came out last as I was talking to Nick's mom about how she went to her Daddy's grave this week for his birthday and put flowers on there... and we began just talking lightly about it and Nick said he didn't understand my morbid curiousity and how I picked out pallbearers and talked about burying people in certain places. It is strange to most people, but not if you've been through it. I've told the story over and over again that when Mom died Dad and I sat at this little table in the funeral home with the Stewart family and the funeral man thrust a sheet of yellow paper in front of us and told us to write down her pallbearers We were in such shock we stared at the piece of paper. I think that is the time Dad walked out of the room overwhelmed and I just sat there for a few minutes staring into space. I want to be given the respect that I've walked through this journey. No, it isn't normal to talk about... but, come on, what part of losing your mother at nineteen is normal? In a sense I feel old like I talk about in the soul way... but, sometimes my maturity feels like that nineteen year old... It's such a weird balance. Losing my mother is something that is so deep and so painful that we cannot even find that pain. It's easy to talk about, but that pain is just somewhere in the soul and no one will understand that until they step into that journey. You know... losing a loved one at any age isn't normal. It just will never be normal because we all want to live forever. We want our family to be like it was when we were this age or that age. Ageless. It's never normal.

I'm glad the sun has risen today and it's bright and happy!!!


Justin*Tara*LucasWhite said...

It will never be "normal" to live without a parent. You are a tough cookie Julie Adams =) and its okay to have bad days! Those cookies looked yummy!

Allison said...

Love all your pics. You are a strong girl.