Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Summer is Here

I have this dream of summer. It stems back to childhood and I always seem to remember it on warm nights. I remember so many times going to our best friends, the Stewart's household and I remember being warm and playing on the trampoline and having burgers. It seems I think every summer night should be this way.

Last Friday after work I went out to Burleson to Karen's pool party. Chandra and Amanda came in from Big Spring and the rest of us gathered out there. Karen's house is ridiculously beautiful... out of a magazine. It was so neat to wander through it. She has a bird that talks... a lot... It would meow and then start talking and saying funny things. If you ignored it... she would get louder. The best part was the girl talk. We had such a good time just talking. We got up the next morning... after sharing a bed with Hayley and Amanda... and made breakfast and enjoyed time before I had to leave to drive into work. Ahhh wonderful... I had a free ticket to the George Strait concert, but I thought work would get in the way... man, I should have made that happen come hell or high water!!!

I finally gave Nick his Texas Tech ring... It was really for our one year anniversary. I had his brother's godfather make it so it would be more meaningful. He loves it. I think he looks really good wearing a ring and it's so special because though it is not an official Texas Tech ring... it is something that he can look down at and remember his roots of education.

Continuing my perfect night of summer tonight Nick and I went to Top Golf. It's a neat place. They charge your ball with the computer and it keeps score of everything. I had such a nice time lounging back in my chair while Nick hit balls. I hit a few, but I am not as good as him!

I have decided something about my dreams. I always talk about my dreams and nightmares. Maybe I need to make peace with some things so it will go away... but just how do I do that?! I have dreams about basketball where my demonic coach will not let me play or I play badly... she warped my life. I truly despise her... I do not want to despise her. I wonder how to just let go. My life was basketball, I loved it and I had passion for it and she took it and stomped on it. She made me not even want to play my senior year. How can you be so cruel to teenagers? Then the dreams about my loved ones that have died... okay... that's just normal... I guess? I'm tired of dreaming about Sarah because she has always faked her death... I wonder why she has faked her death, but when I dream about Mom she is back but dying again?! I wonder what that means? Maybe my mind somehow doesn't believe that Sarah really died? Maybe because I need more closure? Hmmm... Maybe there are just some things I need to forgive and accept. I like my happy dreams!

I'm already ready for the weekend. I think we are having a pool party at my place. And Hayley is helping us plan a river trip in July... YAY FOR SUMMER.

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