Wednesday, August 20, 2008


It's been cloudy for a few days now. I took Sarah to the airport last night and it seemed like I was in a dream. The weather combined with the entire day just made it all too surreal. I know the rain is great for the grass and the farmers, but it isn't great for my melatonin! I did jog in the rain two nights ago. It felt great! It was lightly falling like those misters at Six Flags. I jogged through the neighborhood by my apartments and just prayed and thought while I trotted along. It really gives me a sense to figure things out and just be in that moment. There is so much flowing through my mind right now and I am trying to let God take control. It's truly difficult though - because no matter how much I surrender; somehow I am taking it back afraid God won't give it to me in my time. Last night as I vented to my cousin all about this or that happening or not happening she kept telling me we cannot make people perfect. She says no one can be what I want them to be... I told her I cannot be perfect for the world and I cannot change for certain people... and finally it hit me that maybe it was me that had the problem. Maybe it was me that wants everyone and everything to be perfect?

Anyway... I got my physical results this week. I was just sure I was dying. My mother had so many physical ailments that I just pray I can get past them. She passed away of a heart attack, had a hysterectomy at age 33, diverticulosis, stomach problems her entire life, kidney trouble... man!!! Thankfully I was perfect! I was worried I might be anemic because I don't eat enough meat... but nope! One thing I will watch is my cholesterol just because Grandaddy Bill jogged every day and ate great... still fell over dead at 54 after jogging five miles that morning; same with Mom - she was overweight due to thyroid issues, but the heart disease must be genetic. The Adams family lives to be pretty old so that is a great thing. My Grandaddy Don was the 41st case of heart cancer in the world in 1993 when he passed away - so that is very rare. Granny Jac was just pretty old... and Grandmommy is still ticking. If Dad would eat right and live right he would live to be 100, too. I'm always sure I'm dying though.

The boys are all doing their Fantasy Football League tonight. At first they asked me to join, but now they think I will only pick the hot players... mean boys. They are just afraid I would beat them. I'd still pick Tony Romo first though. Hot and good. How can you beat that?

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